A lyrical suggestion for Barlow and Webber's jubilee song

Did anyone hear the wonderful, amazing, positively spiffing news that Gary Barlow and Andrew Lloyd Webber are penning an anthem for the Diamond Jubilee Concert on June 4?

Could anything lift the spirits more than to know these two musical behemoths will allow us to lavish more praise on our dear leader in front of Buckingham Palace.

Indeed, in preparation for preparing this most proper pop song they will embark on a journey around the Commonwealth to discover what the Queen and Monarchy means to ordinary people.

Ordinary people? I wonder if this song will truly reflect the feelings of all her peasants. Somehow one does not think so.

Can you honestly see this Commonwealth quest canvassing the opinion of people who disagree with the Monarchy?

No, the people contributing to this anthem and the accompanying BBC documentary will positively melt in admiration for the Windsor's.

This song simply lends itself to the ongoing PR campaign telling us how great the Queen is for Britain. The fact is millions of people disagree with this force fed drivel.

It would be great if Gary and Andy managed to weave into their lyrics an angry Salopian bashing the idea of a £60million Royal yacht when parts of Telford look as though they've been hit by a bomb.

How about a housewife from India questioning the wisdom of sending the Duke of Edinburgh abroad to insult or racially abuse those in his path?

Or possibly a builder from Brisbane contemplating why an unelected minority still have the birthright to "rule"?

To be fair these points of view are a little tougher to sing than you're great! Or we love your hat!

In the unlikely event Gary and Andy welcome lyrical suggestions I've jotted down a few lines. I believe they would be a touching reminder of what some people think on this special anniversary.

Oh Lizzie, you sit on your throne with a sparkling crown placed there by God himself,

Unfortunately it's paid for by those in the gutter propping up your wealth.

Give us some music and let us sing this gushing song for you,

But what does it say when anthems are rare and you will soon have two?

God save the Queen, God Save The Queen, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!

YOU WILL COMPLY!