The Young Appentice - TV review
"I've seen everything, I've done everything," growled Lord Sugar in his usual grouchy style. Yes, The Apprentice is back, this time with a junior strand of the popular franchise.
"You'll be using your smart phones for work, not playing Angry Birds.
"Cos if you do, that will make me angry," he quipped ,coming across more as a granddad than business mentor.
Before him, 12 wide-eyed business folk of tomorrow sat in awe. This band of swots aged 16 and 17 years are treated a little more gentle than those in the regular show, but none the less, the tycoon makes it clear the £25,000 prize is no giveaway.
So, following a brief chat with the boss, it's off to Hampstead to the mansion they will share for the next eight weeks.
One young hopeful, David, is shown in interview bragging about his academic achievements and social skills.
Back at base, discussing the team name, he is unsure about the spelling of his suggestion, Odyssey,. And this young lad is a private tutor. Oh dear.
Max, a vintage clothes dealer, aged 16, comes across as a 1983 Geography teacher in his dated get-up. But with his background the first task should be a dream. He could have been the ideal candidate for team leader had it not been for the more vocal Patrick.
If you could imagine what Brains from Thunderbirds would look like dressed in Gok Wan's wardrobe, you will get the look Patrick, an aspiring fashion designer , chose to wear in front of Lord Sugar. And it was Patrick who would lead team Odyssey for the first part of its, erm, odyssey.
Some of the kids are packed off to a warehouse, filled with used clothing. Others head to vintage clothes stores to get inspiration.
All items are destined for sale at a top London shopping centre and car boot sale.
Clothes designer Patrick put together a ridiculous combination of wetsuit and kimono and had it tailored professionally for sale in the shopping centre. Seriously, what was he thinking? As Lord Sugar would later be shown saying, "Even Lady Ga Ga wouldn't wear that".
The girls from Platinum, governed by Ashleigh, didn't seem to gel quite as well as the boys initially, with bickering over the name setting the scene.
But as time ticks on, and the pressure mounts, the boys catch up in the arguing stakes and the girls gain ground in both confidence and sales.
A profit of around £450 for the girls and £330 for the boys saw Platinum zooming off for a high speed boat trip on the Thames. Brains and co were packed off to the grimy café for a heart to heart regarding where things went so horribly wrong.
Grumpy granddad took no time tearing into the business errors made by Odyssey. As project manager, Patrick decides to bring Max and David back into the boardroom for the firing process. Taking the helm on the first task is always a risk.
While Patrick made many mistakes, ultimately it was Max who would pay the price for being more of a thinker than a doer. If all else fails Max there's always a need to teach children - not much younger than yourself - about ox bow lakes, exfoliation domes and glaciation.
After all, you've got the look.
Paul Naylor
