Lesbian Vampire Killers - Carl Jones' verdict
Shropshire Star film critic Carl Jones casts his eyes over the big screen offering from Gavin & Stacey stars James Corden and Mathew Horne.
Starring: James Corden, Mathew Horne, Paul McGann, MyAnna Buring, Ashley Mulheron, Tiffany Mulheron, Louise Dylan, Lucy Gaskell, Silvia Colloca, Vera Filatova.
Director: Phil Claydon.
Please note: This trailer contains strong language
THE PLOT:
Eternal slacker Jimmy Maclaren (Horne) has been dumped by his girlfriend, and his sex-crazed best pal Fletch (Corden) has been sacked from his job as a kiddies' clown for punching a seven-year-old.
The penniless pair decide to lick their wounds on a hiking trip and end up in the remote village of Cragwich, blissfully unaware that the locals have been cursed for centuries by Carmilla, the Lesbian Vampire Queen (Colloca).
As soon as a local girl turns 18, she is transformed into a blood-sucking fiend with no interest in men.
So no sooner have Jimmy and Fletch hooked up with a campervan full of sexy, foreign student girls - Lotte (Buring), Heidi (Tiffany Mulheron), Trudi (Ashley Mulheron) and Anke (Dylan) - they discover the curse to their cost, and join forces to despatch Carmilla and her undead minions, with a helping hand from the disgruntled and rather unhinged local vicar (McGann).
THE VERDICT:
Shaun of the Dead raised the bar when it comes to modern-day spoof horror comedies. It was fresh, clever, frequently funny and sometimes even chilling.
Lesbian Vampire Killers has none of these qualities. The comedy is flat, there isn't a genuine fright in the entire 86 minutes, and the juvenile puerile humour soon starts to grate.
Which is a pity, because Corden and Horne, stars of award-winning sitcom Gavin & Stacey, deserve a better stage on which to showcase their unquestionable comic talents.
Not since the demise of The Benny Hill Show have grown men spent so much time blatantly ogling scantily-clad females on screen, in the vain hope of wringing out a cheap adolescent giggle.
The two leads - Corden in particular - work their socks off to inject life into the limp, clumsy and foul-mouthed script, but their desperate tomfoolery has the opposite effect, making them irritating, rather than endearing.
Someone should have put a stake through the heart of this screenplay long before cameras started rolling.
Rating: 2/10
Release Date: Friday 20 March 2009
Certificate: 15
Runtime: 86mins
