Reader’s forecast: why a goat could improve TV weather predictions - your letters, plus a snapshot of a historic Wellington sports event

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Getting the goat for a forecast

Uncle Norbert and I agree with recent letters that bemoan the lack of clarity in our weather forecasts, especially on the telly. The actual forecast has become secondary by talking about what has happened, what might happen in two weeks time and making every weather event sound like the apocalypse.

After serious scientific research, which involved gallons of tea, mountains of Aunt Dolly's Wonder Winter Cake and the back of several cornflake packets we have the answer! Get a goat to present the weather forecast.

For TV companies a goat will be much cheaper to employ, there will be no need to give the goat a wardrobe allowance and long term any roses planted around the TV studios will benefit. All the TV audience will need to help them through these animal forecasts are some simple guidelines.

For instance if Ermintrude the goat has her nose pointing to the South West then expect rain and if she sits down facing S.W. then expect heavy rain. Right up against a hedge facing North then expect cold weather and maybe snow. If she faces South or South East and sits down expect warm to hot dry weather. If she suddenly starts running around in circles, kicking out with her rear legs, jumping in the air, snorting and breaking wind ferociously then Labour has just won the next General Election and stormy days are ahead.

Peter Steggles, Rushbury