We’ve endured worse Octobers
The rains have come and autumn beckons with gathering storm clouds. Those storm clouds are the Brexit ding-dong that is heading our way with a lot of dinging on October 17, and a lot of donging on October 18 at that naughty EU Brexit summit.
But be not afraid peoples of England, the rest of the UK and civilised parts of Bexhill-on-Sea. Do not be faint hearted as this great nation of ours has seen and endured worse events during the turbulent month of October.
October 14, 1066: Yes it is the grandaddy of all dates in English history and will affect the other nations that will become the United Kingdom, as the military wing of the EU, The Normans, destroy Anglo-Saxon England. Before 1066 English people enjoyed running around with little clothing on covered in blue and raiding Wales, Scotland and Ireland to nick their sheep and wives. Mind you in many cases the nicked wives were swiftly returned. But after 1066 the Normans wanted to nick everyone else’s land, a sort of early Maastricht Treaty, and this started a lot of unresolved border problems.
October, 1245: Shrewsbury, Shropshire. Franciscan monks arrive from Italy. Soon all the locals have got the Abbey Habit and a taste for Cornettos.
October 3, 1283: Shrewsbury, Shropshire. Prince Defydd of Gwynedd who was captured in June is well hung (only a Welsh rumour) and quartered. Of course in these more enlightened times Welsh visitors to Shrewsbury can expect a warmer welcome, unless they stumble across the on, on, on, ongoing works in Pride Hill.
October, 1597: Ah, those Spanish and their short memories. Having failed with the Armada in 1588 to conquer England and that was during July/August, the idiots decide to have another go in October and November of 1597 as they are now the shock troops for European intergration. But when you realise that the Spaniard in charge was called Manual and his opposite number was called Basil you can understand why the invasion failed.
October 7, 1806: Ralph Wedgewood takes out a patent for “carbon paper”, now everything can be duplicated. He is immediately made the patron saint of civil servants the world over.
October 2, 1836: Charles Darwin, the naturalist, lands at Falmouth aboard HMS Beagle at the end of a five-year trip. Having not shaved or had his hair cut for five years Darwin suddenly realises humans are descended from apes.
October 15, 1980: James Callaghan resigns as Leader of the Labour Party and Michael Foot succeeds and shows Jeremy Corbyn the way with the 1983 election result. Expect Theresa May to invade the Isle of Wight in 2020.
Peter Steggles, Longnor
Send us your letters for publication:
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or write to: Readers’ Letters, Shropshire Star, Ketley, Telford, TF1 5HU. Letters MUST include the writer’s name, address and telephone number. Letters will only be published anonymously in exceptional circumstances. The editor reserves the right to condense or amend letters.