Political column – September 14

What sort of catastrophe is that?

The only potential fatality positively identified so far is Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister, dead in a ditch, as he has spoken of that as a prospect if we don't leave on October 31, come what may, no ifs or buts. But even that act of self immolation will have been a choice on his part.

There will be (worst case) chaos, shortages, price rises, cross-border smuggling on the Irish border, and riots.

Sounds like a national crisis. And as we all know, having us all in the same boat in times of a national crisis is the perfect tonic to bring us all together and to heal a divided nation.

Neighbours will help starving neighbours. Lorry drivers stuck for weeks at Dover will be handed warm vacuum flasks of soup. There will be a patriotic "I'm Backing Britain" campaign with a Union Jack logo.

Maybe.

The dead will still get buried and there will be no power cuts. So in that respect at least it will be better than the 1970s.

All this attention on what will happen in the event of a no-deal Brexit or indeed any Brexit has masked the crisis which is already upon us – a crisis in democracy, public trust in, smooth operation of.

This is the real looming disaster, because whatever happens over Brexit, Britain will have to live with itself afterwards.

And if faith in democracy is destroyed, it will be a different sort of Britain, and the change will not have been for the better regardless of the shape of our international trading relationships in the future.

Those responsible for this state of affairs are our politicians, who are the worst bunch I can ever remember. There have always been MPs who can be euphemistically described as colourful characters, but there has always been the steadying effect of a pool of statesmen and stateswomen among their number.

Now the centre of gravity is towards hysteria and a lack of sense of proportion, waved through by the Speaker, under whose watch behaviour in the Commons has fallen to a new low, with clapping being indulged – that's going to be a tiresome Bercow legacy – chanted abuse tolerated, and even a blind eye being turned to Foppy Moggy lying flat out on the front bench.

That is one of the most depressing things of all. There is lip service given to the need to be careful with language and to raise the tone of public debate, while at the same time personal abuse has been normalised and is now an instrument of official party policy.

Look what MPs managed to achieve in little over five days back. Just imagine what they could achieve in five weeks if the prorogation was cancelled.

Parliament's role has been blocking, delaying, destroying – a weapon of democratic mass destruction. Against everything.

From a point of view of operation of democracy, this is how things are currently working. The government, which was elected under the imperfect system we have, is being instructed to carry out the policies of MPs who do not belong to the governing party.

So, vote in a government, get opposition policy. That is fundamentally undemocratic and requires a general election to sort out.

Trouble is, our MPs have voted to keep themselves in office because they think the country needs their special skills at this time to save us from ourselves.

So far as Brexit is concerned, we are heading for a crunch, supposedly. Leave on October 31? It's just not going to happen, unless the EU – not Britain – makes the decision.

Boris Johnson may as well strike a deal. Agree to everything and anything the EU suggests, and bring it back to Parliament in the certain knowledge that it will be rejected because he could strike the best deal in the world and it wouldn't get passed by the present House of Commons. Maybe that's why he only seems to be going through the motions of trying to get one.

Then he will have to request an extension. His letter might go like this: "I've been ordered to ask for an extension by the House of Commons, but I don't want one really and asking for one is not official government policy."

For its part, Labour's policy if it were in government would be to send a Brexit Secretary who does not believe in Brexit and a Foreign Secretary who does not believe in Brexit to Brussels to negotiate a Brexit deal that they don't believe in.

Or hold a referendum with an unconditional Remain option and a highly qualified and conditional Leave option – although for now they can't tell us what it is and will let us know.

Take back control? Ha ha. Our fate is now in the hands of the EU, and it is to our lasting shame that it is they, not our politicians, who have shown dignity allied with unity and sense of purpose through this tortuous purpose.