Safety key to Games of future

Gullible readers may be interested to hear that I have once more tumbled out of my Tardis suffering from amnesia but clutching a copy of the Star, dated 2046.

The page one lead is on Oswestry's successful bid to host the Olympic Games in Cae Glas Park in 2048, discussed by the town council.

A row had broken out over changes to the Games since being taken over by the International Health and Safety Executive, whose representative, Mr Dark Grey Suit, attended the meeting.

He blamed apathy for the public's failure to embrace safety conscious measures. He did not agree that "dropping the blunted toothpick into the nice big padded bucket" and "letting go of the rawplug over the shoulder very carefully" were poor substitutes for throwing the javelin and hammer.

He said since the introduction of the virtual hurdles, not one competitor had suffered a pulled hamstring.

He agreed attendances were disappointing, down to a 128 including competitors, which was perhaps why Oswestry was hosting the games for the third time.

Sam Evans, Oswestry