Rumble in the Jungle: The Charmer v the Lemming

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xcr3uWeVcPg

Telly Talk: The rumble in the jungle that is Havers versus Opik is simmering away nicely, even if Lembit seems totally unaware he is pushing the normally smooth-talking actor to boiling point, writes Tracey O'Sullivan.

No wonder the man was better at showbiz than politics – well, at least he was better at attracting those gossipy headlines than impressing in the corridors of power.

While Nigel struggled to keep his temper under control – "I'm going to punch him in a minute if he says that one more time" - a blissfully unaware Lembit continued to push his buttons. And all because of a simple crocodile's foot.

The campfire stand-off was one of the most amusing moments of last night's episode as Lembit, lemming-like, kept repeating "I think this will be tasty" as he headed straight towards the Havers cliff edge/fist.

Only just under his breath Nigel could barely conceal his annoyance at Lembit's insistence they were getting a good meal deal from his Bushtucker Trial win after the one-time charmer had refused to chow down on the crocodile meat – because they eat their own waste don't you know.

The more we get into I'm a Celebrity the more I think Lembit's days as a politician were the perfect training ground for what lies ahead.

That said, he did fail miserably to indulge in a bit of good old-fashioned spin. Honestly, Lembit, you should know better than to complete a task by making it look fairly simple. Where were the tears, the odd gag reflex gesture, the blood-curdling scream or, at the very least, the swoon? See that Gillian McKeith? That's the way you do it, Lemmy. There's nothing more amusing than watching a woman faint with fear but still remember to pull her top down because her Bridget Jones pants are showing. I smell a rat, or at least a fake, and it stinks more than the camp will by Day Five.

The Former Montgomeryshire MP may well be thanking his lucky stars this morning that he is not up for the next Bushtucker Trial, but that means only one thing, my dear friend – you didn't make particularly good television last night. Getting your head down, undoing those locks in The Crate Escape before Gillian had even got over that fly landing on her shoulder, and emerging unscathed – not the way to go.

You only have to ask the X-Factor's controversial Katie Waissel to understand that's not how you stay in the game.

Gillian is back in the frame today but it could be said fans are already bored with Lembit opting to put Shaun Ryder in the firing line instead as the celebrities fear the jungle task they hate the most tonight – the eating trial.

Lembit's only potential for a starring role is an actual fight with Mr Havers in the style of Colin Firth and Hugh Grant from Bridget Jones (all that pulling hair like girls 'n' everything) – Gillian can even wear her pants again and be proud to show them off this time.

That would make for television gold and might save me from wanting to land a right hook of my own on Mr Opik for swimming in his socks. A sight from last night's show I hope never to be repeated.