Peter Rhodes on nicknames, parking fines and two signs of a nation in decline
Now it can be told. Donald “I know what I'm doing” Trump says that during his state visit to the UK, he suggested the King might adopt a new title: “I asked King Charles, why don't we call you Charles the Conqueror?"
The King declined politely. What he knew, and Trump probably didn't know, is that the victor of Hastings, 1066, was widely known, thanks to his parentage, as William the Bastard.
Norman trivia: Some modern historians, pointing to the incredibly fortunate mix of fine weather and a Viking attack in the north of England which helped the Norman invasion, have suggested that a better title for William the Bastard might be William the Lucky Bastard.
Celebrity protest corner. It is reported that an “eco designer” has handed back her MBE in protest at Trump being “appeased and honoured” on his state visit. It is also reported that this handing-back was “dramatic.” But was it? One of the golden rules of making a political point, and making it dramatically, is that when people read your name, in this case one Livia Firth, they don't ask: “Who?”
A nation in decline 1: Recent research suggests Britain has 82,000 traffic-enforcement officers but only 73,000 soldiers. The good news is that if Putin's legions of amphibious tanks ever roll ashore at Dover, they will be slapped with parking tickets before you can say KGB. Tremble in your boots, Private Ivan.
A nation in decline 2: Benefit claims for anxiety are being approved at the rate of about 250 per day, a record, according to the Centre for Social Justice. And of those applicants, how many are mostly anxious about not getting the anxiety benefit? It's all rather worrying, isn't it?
Researchers for a bread company set out to discover the things that really interest us. Fascinating to see that “putting the bins out” scores higher than “celebrity gossip,” which reinforces my theory that most of today's celebrities have about as much star quality as a wheelie bin.
There is a certain time-lag between writing this column and seeing it in print, which leads to some hedging of bets. Good to see Labour Party activists so solidly united behind their leader Starmer / Burnham / Corbyn (delete as applicable).
