Creating an ideal home for hubby

Women of the 1950s had their domestic roles set out for them. Sian Beck looks at how the dynamics of marriage have changed over half a century.

If a girl's future husband thought her duties as a wife were to know her place, refrain from complaining, and never question him about his actions, his judgement or integrity, the wedding would probably be called off!

But back in the 1950s, these "helpful" hints in the Good Wife's Guide were seen as very reasonable.

My grandmother, Gwen Beck, was a housewife with three children in the 1950s, and learnt to lead a domestic life from a very young age.

"When I was at school we had cookery lessons and I had to help my mother with chores around the house," she recalls, remembering how most women in the 1950s went straight from living with their parents to married life.

"All my friends were married and their husbands were at work all day. They were the breadwinners of the family and it was not unusual to have dinner ready on the table when your husband came home from work."

Home in the 1950s represented a quiet haven away from the toils and troubles of working life, and it was quite normal for some housewives to have their children tucked up in bed when their husband came home, to prevent stress and noise.

Although a modern housewife may look on the Fifties as an era of pre-feminism and gender cliches, women were by no means submissive, docile creatures, and the number of women who were in active employment rose after the Second World War.

Gwen, who lives in Oswestry, says: "Many women became more independent and carried on with the jobs they had during the war."

Fast forward 50 years or so, and women lead very different lives, trying hard to juggle work and home life.

Modern "supermums" have to face up to the fact that there is still in some cases a gender divide, and must make the difficult decision of whether to choose a career or stay at home.

Research by Cambridge University suggests that family life will suffer if a mother works full time - although how many parents would agree with this is another matter.

My own mother, Julia Beck, who lives in Much Wenlock, finds it difficult to believe that any woman would use Good Housekeeping's 1955 tips (see below) as the basis for their own marriage.

"In today's world, marriage is more of an equal partnership. I don't mind getting the dinner ready if it fits in with my plans but I wouldn't drop everything to have it ready for a specific time. It would be interesting to see a Good Husband Guide - I wonder if that would be full of the same gender stereotypes?"

The idea of the home as a peaceful place is all very well, but in a world where TVs and radios are commonplace in the kitchen, paternity leave is available to men and many husbands work from home, it is far more difficult for a wife to emulate the 1950s ideal.

Research by uSwitch.com shows couples think they would need an income of about £32,000 before one of them could afford to stay at home, significantly higher than the average Shropshire wage.

Julia says: "Of course, the 1950s image of a nice home with no clutter, happy caring wife, quiet children and no arguments is lovely but when you have a job, it becomes far more difficult to find time to create a place of peace, order and tranquillity, although it's a very nice idea."

So although the 1950s may, for some, have been a time of domestic bliss, it seems the supermum is still at large. Many women are willing to abandon their career to spend more time at home, but only one in ten mothers lack any sort of employment.

It's fair to say 'The Good Wife's Guide' is unlikely to be featured in the an issue of Good Housekeeping any time soon!

THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE

(published in Housekeeping Monthly, 1955)

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.

• Prepare yourself. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

• Be a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and it is one of your duties to provide.

• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash their hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum.

• Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

• Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure. Don't complain even if he stays out all night.

• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place.