A tale of two . . . lesbians?

Can't see that being in the guide books, somehow, writes our News Blogger Dave Burrows.

Of course, technically it wasn't bigamy. But as prosecutors said, it was to all intents and purposes. Suzanne Mitchell admitted entering into a civil partnership with Caroline Beddoes while she was still married to husband Charles.

Mitchell's solicitor Mark Linkens said: "This is an unusual case."

He then went on to describe the sun as "a bit warm" and Genghis Khan as "a bit of a lad". No he didn't.

What makes the case even more unusual than, say, just the phrase "lesbian bigamist" is the fact that both women have insisted: "I'm not gay".

Mitchell, who is now back with hubby, said: "I'm not a lesbian. It was a one-off thing - everybody experiments with something and that's how it is in life.

"If you see the big dipper and have never been on it, you are going to go on it because you don't know until you've tried it."

Quite how Caroline Beddoes feels being compared to a "big dipper" I'm not quite sure.

For her part Caroline said: "I wasn't a lesbian and I've never been a lesbian. It was just a bit of an experience."

She is now living with her boyfriend.

So there we are then. Two women who aren't lesbians let things get out of hand and get "married", while one was still married to her husband.

Then they split up. one goes back to her husband and the other is living with her boyfriend.

This plotline would be rejected by all soap opera bosses . . . even on Emmerdale. And yet it happened.

Nowt so queer as folk, as my grandad would say.