Peter Rhodes on rich landlords, poor taxpayers and the perils of entering a war zone

Meanwhile, back to the cafe I described a few days ago. Sitting about 10 feet away, looking straight at me, was a bloke apparently talking to himself. In ye olden days this was the moment to pay your bill and get out sharpish.

But today, of course, the self-talkers in cafes are actually “in a meeting,” conducting their business from the table they will occupy for hours for the miserly price of a mug of coffee. As a hack, I have done the same myself. But I never talk out loud and I always order the full English breakfast. Ah, the sacrifices I make for my art.

The killer-dog furore has been ramped up by the decision of police in Sunderland to arrest an XL Bully owner on suspicion of murder after the dog killed a neighbour. It seems a strange choice of charge and it may not last long in our legal system. But it makes the point to dog owners that some cops believe, in certain circumstances , a murder charge could be justified. You may think your XL Bully would never take a life but can you guarantee that during its entire lifespan of 10 or 12 years it will not flip for a few enraged seconds and kill.

And more to the point, are you certain enough of your belief to gamble on it when the stakes are a life sentence in jail? Concentrates the mind wonderfully, doesn't it?

An earnest lady at the Green Party conference was explaining how private landlords could be encouraged to insulate their properties with “affordable loans,” known as “government-backed, property-linked finance. So how would that work?

It sounds like a loan below the market rate. As far as I'm aware, the only way a government can create such loans is by a subsidy. And what that means is ordinary taxpayers (like you and me, dear reader) picking up part of the bill for private landlords to tart up their property portfolios. It may sound green but it hardly seems fair.