Shropshire Star

Peter Rhodes on culture, a magical TV moment and four words that killed a bill in Scotland

According to one old definition, a cultured man is one who, on hearing Rossini's William Tell Overture, does not think of the Lone Ranger.

Only Fools and Horses

Similarly, a cultured man is one who, left alone with a tea cosy, does not wear it as a hat. A cultured man is also a man who, on finding a sink plunger, does not pretend he is a Dalek.

And here's another definition, courtesy of last week's Hidden Treasures of the National Trust (BBC2). A team of experts gingerly lowered a massive, and priceless, Rubens portrait from high on the wall of a stately home. A cultured man is one who watched this nail-biting process without once being reminded of Del, Rodney and That Chandelier.

Gingerly? Can we still say gingerly?