Mark Andrews: Rude traffic wardens, Rachel Reeves' property nightmares, and nostalgia for the return of the Invacar

MP Cat Eccles has complains about the rudeness of traffic wardens in her Stourbridge constituency, saying she has witnessed them blatantly breaking the rules they enforce, and swearing at members of the public. 

And some bears, who live in the woods, don't always put the toilet seat down when they've finished.

I've always assumed that traffic wardens are sent to some kind of training school, where they are taught how to be rude and petty-minded. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if its not a graduate occupation these days, charging 10 grand a year for lessons in how to lick pencils. 

But then again, who in their right mind would do the job if they didn't already possess these qualities in abundance? I remember that fly-on-the-wall series about them in the 90s, where one of them spoke about the buzz he got from catching people for infringements. 

As far as I'm concerned, a good traffic warden is an unemployed traffic warden. I've always harboured a grudge, ever since one called Dolan wrongly gave me a ticket in 1992. I've never bought into the myth peddled by the lanyard classes that they are necessary to 'keep the traffic moving'. After all, once you've been given a ticket, you're hardly going to move the car, are you? You'll want to get your money's worth.

I also recall how they went for quite a long time without a warden in Bridgnorth, and the sky didn't fall in. 

But given the consensus among the political class, I guess I've lost this argument and we're stuck with them. And in the unlikely event that they ever catch me committing a parking violation, I would tell all those pencil-lickers out there, feel free to be as rude to me as you like. I'm thick skinned, and ready for all the non-crime hate speech you can muster. Just don't give me a ticket. 

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Under normal circumstances, my gut reaction would be one of sympathy for Rachel Reeves regarding her brush with the law over her landlord's licence. 

The law is a complete dog's breakfast, with different local authorities having different rules, and I don't think for one minute she would be so silly as to knowingly risk her political career for the sake of £964. 

The problem is that less than a fortnight ago she publicly spoke out in support of these licences, welcoming Leeds City Council's decision to expand their coverage as a tool against rogue landlords. It is also unfortunate that the news emerged during the same week as the Renters' Rights Bill receiving royal ascent, which will pile yet further red tape on landlords who aren't in the privileged position of charging £3,200 a month for their pad in Dulwich, but are struggling to scrape a living while dealing with non-paying tenants who threaten them with legal action every time the khazi gets blocked. 

Maybe the Chancellor will use her own experience to recognise that not all problems can be solved by draconian and petty regulation, and realise that people who own businesses or rent properties are not adversaries, but ordinary people too. I won't hold my breath. 

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You've got to hand it to Lee Anderson, he knows how to generate a headline. His latest suggestion, to bring back the old Invacar in place of the much-abused Motability scheme for the disabled has got people talking. 

I suppose its one way to revive the British motor industry, although given that no new Invacars have been built since 1977, and the factory is now an MOT centre, it does pose the question of who is going to supply them. And is setting up a new state-backed car manufacturer really going to save the country money?

I'm not really convinced that the general public really wants to go back to wheelchair users driving around in sky blue plastic three-wheelers, and I can't help but think it is an over-reaction to a much more simple problem. We just want to see slightly more rigorous vetting, so that Motability cars are no longer handed out to people with acne.