Nigel Hastilow: Pike, border control is down to you
Don’t panic. The Government has a brilliant wheeze to crack down on illegal immigration – a ‘Dad’s Army’ of volunteers policing Britain’s borders.
As loopy-loo ideas go, surely this one takes the biscuit. Especially as Ministers can’t even complain they haven’t got enough money to employ properly trained and incorruptible individuals.
It seems Ministers are worried illegal immigrants, drug-smugglers and other criminals have got bored with trying to hi-jack lorries travelling to Britain via the Channel Tunnel.
It’s much easier to fetch up at some unconsidered harbour on the east coast or at a remote airport used by amateur pilots than it is to try sneaking into Britain through the most obvious entry points.
Who knows how many people are getting into Britain through these unmanned entry-points? The Government certainly doesn’t.
And Ministers are so worried about it they plan to take decisive action. That is to say, they want a whole band of Captain Mainwearings and Private Pikes to take responsibility for preventing criminals from exploiting the gaping holes in our permeable borders.
Inevitably these guardians of our nation would not have any power. They would not be able to arrest anyone, for instance, nor could they interrogate suspects.
Which does make you wonder what exactly they would do except, perhaps, sit round a brazier watching people come and go with no questions asked.
