Labour lets fly with its loose cannon

It's Labour rolling out one of its big guns. So stand well clear, because they tend to blow up spectacularly.

Meanwhile, Theresa May's team has found the perfect way of dealing with tiresome journalists - lock them up.

Free the Cornwall Two, I say.

First, let's turn our attention to the Abbott Self Propelled Gun, which is housed in London and painted in red.

As it takes aim, people dive for cover. Others put their fingers in their ears. It can cause terrible damage. The spectre of the Abbott in action sends a shiver down the spine of all friends, and even occasionally causes some mild consternation among enemies.

Diane Abbott went on radio to outline Labour's plans to recruit an extra 10,000 police officers in England and Wales. As she is the shadow home secretary, she had the funding figures - it is her department, after all - at her fingertips. It would cost, she said, about £300,000 over four years.

An extraordinary bargain at £30 per officer. She realised her mistake of course. Speaking very slowly she said: "It will cost... will cost... erm... about... about... £80 million."

That's more like it. If we can get the police to work for £8,000, we will be able to afford to recruit lots more.

Challenged again, there was silence and a rustling of papers before finally she ventured: "We will be paying them the average... Of course it's been thought through."

Okay, so figures are not her strong point. But she is loyal to Jeremy Corbyn, who she says has more experience than Tony Blair, which seems to be another way of saying he is older, given that he has never held ministerial office.

She really is wasted as shadow home secretary. Jeremy should make her shadow education secretary, with the slogan: figures first, homework later.

Now, the Cornwall Two. Or however many it was.

During a visit by Theresa May to a factory in St Ives, reporters were apparently not allowed to film her answering any questions or meeting employees, and for a time they were locked in a room.

So remember this - the parties' election team managers are trying to ensure that you only see and hear what they want you to see and hear.

And after a freestyling performance like Diane Abbott's, you can understand why they live in fear of politicians who think they can wing it in front of the media.