Another case to solve by "Doctor" Watson
There is, according to Tom Watson, a devilish plot by the hard left to hijack the Labour Party.
Who are these people? Who would want to take over the Labour Party? Are they nuts? Does Jeremy Corbyn know? Is British intelligence involved?
As we all know, the deputy leader of the Labour Party - a grand master when it comes to conspiracy theories, as it happens - is a determined and forensic pursuer of the truth. So rest assured that these and many other questions will be asked, and that we might even get some of them answered.
The shocking central allegation is that people who are supporters of the leader of the Labour Party are trying to get their hands on the levers of power within the party.
Imagine that. An outrageous and sinister attempt to cement the position of the current leader, launched by people who support him.
That Mr Watson views it as a dangerous plot which threatens to destroy Labour probably tells you a lot about the state of Labour as it stands at the moment.
In any normal times, supporting the leader would surely count as a good thing. But this is an attempted anti-coup in support of an anti-leader, who commands so little confidence among his own MPs that it's a struggle to fill a Shadow Cabinet.
In other words, Jeremy Corbyn's enemies are not in front of him in the Commons. All together now, pantomime-style - they're behind you!
Mr Watson was "cheered to the rafters" as he arrived at a meeting of the Parliamentary Labour Party, a group which not so long ago had its own devilish plot to take over the Labour Party - and was decisively defeated by Jeremy's People.
As with all the best conspiracies theories, there is a secret tape recording.
Mr Watson's allegation is that the grassroots campaign group Momentum is muscling in. The "secret plan" for a link-up between Momentum and the Unite union, which would greatly increase Momentum's influence, is supposed to have been revealed through recorded comments by Jon Lansman of Momentum.
For those with a taste for nostalgia, all this has a warm and familiar feel. In the 1980s Nick Kinnock, the then Labour leader, fought a long and ultimately successful battle to rid the party of the Militant Tendency. It made Labour electable again, albeit not under Kinnock.
Back then one Jeremy Corbyn opposed any witch-hunt of Militant. And look what happened to him.
Tom Watson says he plans to ask Jeremy if he knows anything about the current "secret plan."
Er, go on then.
* (BLOB) If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article, feel free to contact the headquarters of the Labour Party for advice and counselling. And good luck.
