Love? Actually, it's no such thing

If you're the type to cheat on your partner, your double life has become much easier thanks to the internet.

It wasn't much of a Valentine's Day for Cheryl Cole or Tess Daly.

For the second time, Cheryl was facing allegations of her husband Ashley's inappropriate behaviour, while Strictly Come Dancing presenter Tess can't now face her fans after husband Vernon was caught sending racy texts to at least five women.

But these days it is not just the stars, with their partying lifestyles and endless disposable incomes, who are tempted to stray and to strike up relationships outside their married lives. And for that matter, it's not just men either.

These are just some of the pleading messages on the UK's largest website aimed at introducing people looking to have no-strings-attached affairs.

"Bigbaddom" claims to be mostly happily married and a proud dad, but in need of some sexy excitement that his wife can't provide. A surprising statement for a 36-year-old Catholic.

Meanwhile "Planter" maintains he has no spark with his wife but also no interest in leaving her or breaking up anyone else's relationship.

Any one of them could be your neighbour, dentist or even children's headteacher, because the largest of such sites in the UK, IllicitEncounters.com, has revealed that it has more than 2,300 members in Shropshire.

The county is 19th in the list of UK regions based on members per head of population.

Spokesman Rosie Freeman- Jones says they have had their busiest January to date, with membership numbers soaring.

"We have just over 410,000 members across the UK and Ireland, and this January was our busiest month ever – we broke every record we'd ever set."

It seems the recession is driving a boom in such sites, with men and women seeking an escape from the woes of financial hardship and some kind of release from the problems of everyday life.

And on the surface, this new online world seems to offer just that. Members log in anonymously and can create any identity they want. But while members wish to keep their identity a secret, the website bosses certainly don't want to keep the profiles under wraps.

The sites are becoming more mainstream by the day, even releasing Valentine's Day tips and books to help boost awareness of their existence.

With travel playing a part in many professional jobs, it makes it easier for those in high-flying careers to have clandestine relationships.

George Clooney's travelling consultant in Oscar-nominated movie Up in The Air provides the perfect "escape" for Vera Farmiga's character, who sought a sex-filled break from her "real life", taking care to ensure her "two lives" did not cross over.

And it's like that for many of the members of IllicitEncounters.com. I was put in touch with a woman from Shropshire, who wished to remain anonymous to the point of fairly heightened paranoia. Our interview started with a protracted conversation about what she was going to be called and ended with her wanting to know if the conversation had been taped.

That was after a number of days of exchanged emails to set up the phone call when she could talk.

For the purposes of the feature we decided on 'Amanda'. The only details Amanda would give was that she was from Shropshire and was 49, married but without children.

Despite her very real fears of being identified, Amanda was adamant it was not guilt she felt about all the subterfuge.

"I have yet to actually do anything wrong," she stressed. "I just joined out of curiosity and to see what it was all about."

She knows it may not end there: "I have met one man with whom I have become good friends; we shall see where it leads."

But surely there must be a sense of dread at being discovered – even a risk to your safety in having such a secret life?

"I am very careful with the communications I send and how I conduct myself. I would be very upset if my husband found out, but there is that thrill to it that I like.

"I have also developed a filter to try to weed out those I wouldn't want to meet. In a place as small as Shropshire you have to be careful not to arrange to meet someone you already know as much of the initial exchanges are done anonymously and the idea is to introduce you to people in your area.

"I also have not been able to tell anyone about this – not my friends nor any of my family. Essentially I would want to meet someone somewhere discreet so we wouldn't be seen, but also you have to consider that no one knows where you are and what you are supposed to be doing, so I make sure I tread carefully when I am getting to know someone."

Amanda is adamant she has now satisfied her curiosity – as if during our conversation she was becoming more aware of the risks by voicing them out loud.

"I have had enough now. I have met one very good friend but I don't think I am interested in searching any more. But people should remember that although this is advertised as no-strings-attached affairs, there is more to it.

"There are a lot of people looking for genuine companionship and people can be very lonely within a marriage. Financial problems are also difficult for people at the moment and they may need an escape, although that wasn't an issue for me."

Amanda says she is not looking for a way out of her marriage.

Unfortunately her marriage is the very thing she is risking the most.

By Tracey O'Sullivan