Today Ark would face obstacles
In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was in England and said: "The earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no Ark. "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed Building Regulations Approval.
"Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest.
"When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me.
"They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane.
"Then the county council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark." Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine. Noah looked up and asked: "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. "The government and the EU beat me to it."
Petition for a referendum on the EU before this story becomes fact and support the United Kingdom Independence Party.
R Knight, Telford & Wrekin UKIP
