Peter Rhodes on waders, warmongers and taking a guess at the future

There is what we in journalism call a lead-in on this column, a pause of a day or so before what is written actually appears. This means sometimes one has to take an educated guess at the future. With that in mind, I confidently congratulate the company Putin & Trump Enterprises on its remarkable feat of landing a Tesla car on the moon. This achievement has been applauded by all world leaders, apart from President Musk of Canada.

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Never one to let historical facts get in the way of bombast, Donald Trump introduced Germany's Chancellor Merz to the Oval Office with a breezy: “World War One began and ended here.” Er, not exactly. Back in 1914 the continent of Europe had more than enough home-grown imperialist headbangers to start a world war all by itself. Mind you, we did need some Americans to finish it. About four million.

After the humiliating attacks on his air bases, Putin must be deeply depressed over his wretched war which he expected to last three or four days and has now blazed for three years and three months. But supposing he prevailed and Ukraine surrendered. What then?