Shropshire Star

Peter Rhodes on a chalk man, a spate of thefts and why people hate inheritance tax

Historians may rage, locals may sneer and ramblers may despair but I understand the decision by a cheese company to remove the male member of Cerne Abbas Giant on its labels.

Cerne Abbas Giant – preferred pronoun?

Cerne Abbas Giant is carved into a chalk hillside in Dorset. For centuries he has been, in the modern words of one commentator, “clearly a binary giant who has a large phallus”. Or to put it another way, he is BGWLP. And in a perfect word the Giant would be displayed on the cheese packets in all his glory.

But this is not a perfect world. It is largely inhabited by snowflakes, paint sprayers, hand-gluers and slow-marchers who might decide to take offence at the image. Scrapping the phallus may seem cowardly but in these troubled times the only safe alternative is to cover the image with a trigger warning, plus a helpline number for those affected by BGWLP issues.

What, do you suppose, is the Cerne Abbas Giant's preferred pronoun? Silly question.