Peter Rhodes looks back on the good and bad news of 2022
Another year rolls by. Here's how this column saw it.
JANUARY: The Covid-19 death toll on the past three Saturdays was 154, 313 and 287 yet the deaths on the Sundays were 73, 97 and 88. Something doesn't add up.
FEBRUARY: When RT, the Moscow-funded TV station, talks of “Putin's peace-keeping mission”, be aware that if Putin were caught machine-gunning babies in the streets, it would still be a peace-keeping mission.
MARCH: The Russian Orthodox Church is backing Putin. When you're destroying an entire nation and turning 10 million people into refugees, isn't it good to know that God is on your side?
APRIL: See? That's how the French do elections. In the first round they vote for the candidates they like. Then, in the second round, they vote for the candidates they don't like.
MAY: Some electric cars can be opened by an illegal radio gizmo. We have a threefold problem. Firstly, too many smart gizmos. Secondly, not enough smart cops. Thirdly, far too many smart crooks.
JUNE: You may apply for asylum - but only if you first cross the English Channel in an inflatable dinghy. Is UK immigration policy based on Common Law, international law or It's a Knockout?
JULY: The month was utterly bizarre. What are the odds that, during the month, at least one poor devil got sunburn, sunstroke, Covid-19 and monkey pox?
AUGUST: Wackiest wheeze of the week is the suggestion that GPs should issue energy vouchers to help hard-up patients. Patient asks for voucher. GP declines. Patient thumps doctor, thus requiring the attention of another doctor.
SEPTEMBER: It's the flukiness of politics, the morphing of tiny, unforeseen incidents into gigantic issues, that makes it so fascinating. You bump into a birthday cake and your career is over.
OCTOBER: In Leicester, Asian folk celebrating Diwali were over the moon to have an Asian prime minister. One pointed out that Britain once ruled India and an Indian is now ruling Britain.
NOVEMBER: The price of a meal at the UK’s best restaurants has more than doubled since Brexit from £100 a head to more than £200. This rewrites an old adage; a fool and his money are soon partying.
DECEMBER: Most optimistic headline of the month so far: 'Putin runs out of drones' (Daily Mail).