If the Yanks had made Dunkirk

A READER tells me she saw a hospital consultant some weeks ago and later received a copy of the consultant's letter to her GP. Describing the patient's circumstances, it said: “She lives in Bangalore.” Wrong. She actually lives in a bungalow.

THE review of the new movie Dunkirk by the popular American newspaper USA Today tells its readers, in all seriousness: “The fact that there are only a couple of women and no lead actors of color may rub some the wrong way.” If the politically-correct Yanks had made Dunkirk, it would have an altogether more diverse cast list including: British prime minister Winona Churchill (Sandra Bullock) , Reichsmarschall Hermann Goering (Julian Clary), Army Commander General Gort (Whoopi Goldberg) and a Cockney soldier (Dick van Dyke). And, of course, the “Little Ships” would be much, much bigger.

NO-ONE should be surprised at the vile threats and insults hurled at staff in Great Ormond Street children's hospital during the Charlie Gard case. The more baby-centred an issue becomes, the more scrotes and scumbags feel the need to spit their fury. Ten years on, Madeleine McCann discussions online still attract the most filthy and evil comments. It seems the only way some folk can prove their own credentials as caring people is by slagging off other folk. But the more they do it, the more you have to wonder what drives them and what they are trying to hide. Show me someone threatening the Great Ormond Street staff and I'll show you someone with a guilty conscience.

THE Brexit debate gets nastier. The latest apocalyptic threats are that British cancer patients will perish needlessly because the UK won't be able to get radioactive therapies after quitting the regulatory body Euratom, and that Britain will be unable to expel EU criminals. I don't believe a word of it and I can't be the only one reminded of the panic that greeted the Millennium Bug. Through the 1990s we were told that fixing this computer bug was such a humongously complicated task that it was beyond the wit of mortal men and could be compared to taking every single rivet out of the Golden Gate bridge and re-fixing it. At midnight on the last day of 1999, the Millennium Bug came and went. Nobody noticed. So it will be with Brexit.

THE Brexit-Apocalypse merchants might be more persuasive if they hadn't used up all their best ammunition before the referendum. Why should we believe people who assured us only a year ago that if we voted Leave, by now the economy would have collapsed and we'd all be living in mud huts? You can scare some of the people, some of the time....

WHAT we see, if only we choose to see, is serious negotiations involving dozens of highly skilled British civil servants and one or two noisy politicians to add colour. Yes, there are disagreements and red lines but there is also compromise and pragmatism. I love a good panic as much as the next hack but nothing in the process of leaving the EU worries me as much as the prospect of staying in.