Mark Andrews: Naked bike rides, and why Palestine Action are idiots but not terrorists

Vandals, obviously. Criminals, certainly. Idiots, low lives and bigots, no doubt. But they're not terrorists.

And by branding the sad sacks who call themselves Palestine Action as a proscribed terrorist organisation, the UK Government not only demeans the victims of real terror groups, such as the IRA or Al Qaeda, it also gives them kudos. Every Wolfie Smith wannabe will know they can rile the Government by throwing paint, smashing things up or blocking the traffic. In their warped minds, being branded a terrorist puts them up their with Che Guevara, without exactly putting their neck on the line.

And while attacking Britain's defence capabilities is obviously a treacherous thing to do, there is no reason why they should be treated any differently to the equally disruptive troublemakers of Extinction Rebellion, Just Stop Oil et al.

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Now if it were down to me, anybody who sprays graffiti would get a short, sharp, six strokes of the birch, at least for their first offence, and hopefully they might learn their lesson at little cost to the taxpayer. But given that is somewhat unlikely when we have a human rights lawyer for Prime Minister, I'm quite sure the existing laws of criminal damage are quite sufficient to get those responsible for the plane attack to be sent down for a few years.

As I said, I have no sympathy with Palestine Action - nor for that matter with the pro-Israeli protesters who decided they also fancied joining in with a ruck. And I'm all for beefing up the laws on protest to ensure that ordinary working people's lives are not disrupted by their self-indulgence. 

But calling every two-bob troublemaker a terrorist is just crying wolf.

And it seems incredibly odd that some people who spray graffiti on public property are branded terrorists. But call yourself 'Banksy' and you become a treasure.

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And if you want proof that such draconian measures don't work, look at what happened when the Weimar Republic tried to crack down on the rise in political violence by banning Hitler's brown shirts.

Did it succeed? Well only in that they started marching in white shirts instead. And handed the Nazis a massive propaganda coup, and, well I think you probably know the next bit.

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Besides, if you want a protest that strikes terror into people, I think last week's World Naked Bike Ride through London was far scarier. 

I do hope they were using their own bikes. You wouldn't want to be the next punter to use a Boris Bike they had rented for the day.

Apparently, it was about 'celebrating body positivity' and 'protesting against car culture'. But from the pictures I have seen, there is little cause for positivity in the bodies on display, and it looks to me like a pretty good reason to restrict them all to car travel. At least you wouldn't be able to see them.

According to the website, they haven't chosen a date for next year's event. Can I suggest sometime in January?