Mark Andrews on how to humiliate fare dodgers, cracking down on shoplifting, and a lawyer who's all talk and no trousers

The shy and retiring creature that is Robert Jenrick has set the cat among the pigeons with his videos where he confronts fare dodgers, litter louts and other assorted low-life as they go about their misdemeanours. 

Ok, we're not exactly talking The Cook Report, and people are inevitably questioning his motives. But as far as I'm concerned, anyone who brings a bit of shame on these self-centred individuals is doing us all a public service. 

According to Transport for London's own figures, one in 20 passengers on the London Underground does so without paying, and it wouldn't be a great surprise if that figure was reflected across the public transport system. One ticket inspector has said that the worst part is the way the offenders just smile at him as push their way through.

It doesn't help, of course, that so many rail ticket offices have closed, and some of these people may genuinely have been physically unable to buy a ticket. But the zeal with which local authorities pursue drivers who erroneously stray into bus lanes suggests that the rules can be enforced if the will is there.

My suspicion is that the bean counters decided the lost revenue did not justify the cost of enforcement. But a society that turns a blind eye to brazen criminality on the basis of a cost-benefit analysis is one which knows the cost of everything, and the value of nothing.

*****

Which brings us to the Government's proposals to reduce the number of criminals being sent to jail, with a greater emphasis on community-based sentences. The news comes 10 months after Home Secretary Yvette Cooper promised to get tough on shoplifters, ending years of neglect under the Conservatives.

I don't question that the previous government had a dreadful record on dealing with this type of crime, it's just that I'm not convinced a few appointments with a probation officer and a month or two wearing an ankle tag is going to strike fear into habitual thieves.

*****

David Gauke, the dripping wet former Tory Lord Chancellor drafted in to carry out the review, argues that many non-violent prisoners present little threat to the public, and stand a better chance of being rehabilitated outside of the prison system. So why is Twitter troll Lucy Connolly serving 31 months for her admittedly reprehensible comments about asylum seekers?

Now I find it hard to have much sympathy with Mrs Connolly, who sounds a pretty unpleasant lady. But does anybody seriously believe that banging her up for two-and-a-half years is going to imbue her with the worldview of Polly Toynbee? I suggest that Britain would be more at ease if our jails were filled with thieves rather than keyboard warriors.

*****

A severe dressing down at Shrewsbury Crown Court for a barrister who proved a little too casual in sharing his briefs.

Recorder Mr Julian Taylor had to instruct an un-named barrister that wearing trousers was a bare minimum requirement for addressing the court, even over the video link. Making submissions in your underpants just doesn't cut it.

The judge did not give full disclosure on what type of underpants his learned friend was wearing, but I'd like to think, for maximum comic effect, they would have been lurid spotty boxer shorts, a la Brian Rix at Whitehall Theatre.

What I don't understand is, even when working from home, who in their right mind struts about with no trousers on? We all know people who have done the jacket-and-tie-with-tracksuit-trousers thing in online meetings, and Chris Tarrant once admitted to reading the news in such a state of attire - his boss had given his suit trousers to a besotted viewer who sent him an amorous letter - but no strides at all? That's just weird.

*****

Kwasi Kwarteng, the 38-day Chancellor whose mini-budget led to soaring mortgages for thousands of people, reckons Sir Keir Starmer is 'terrified' of Nigel Farage.

“And whoever's advised him, I think it's a disaster for the PM," he says. 

Well, I suppose that's just the luck of the draw. Not everyone can have a mentor of Liz Truss's stature. 

He also accuses Nigel Farage of making rash spending commitments, without saying where the money will come from.

“The numbers, I think he needs to work on those a bit more," says Kwasi.

I think the word is chutzpah.