Telephone sales calls leave me feeling cold
I remain increasingly intrigued as to why anyone, whatever they are selling, assumes that I (or you) hang around at the end of a telephone waiting for their calls. And, what's more, that we shall immediately shout 'yippee' and buy what they are trying to flog.
You've no idea the number of times I've explained politely that thank you but no thank you, and if I did want a new conservatory, windows, loft insulation I would not need the prompt of a call centre employee. Instead, I would be researching the possibilities for this purchase myself and would not need the persuasion of this random call at an inconvenient time.
I'm talking cold calling – is there any group of people better guaranteed to get you hot under the collar?
As it happens, I did get a call about loft insulation the other day from some bossy madam demanding I go immediately and measure the depth of ours. We have two lofts, both adequately protected so I packed her off briskly even as she continued to insist we might need it all replacing. Cheeky so-and-so.
The offer of loft insulation was swiftly followed by a call about solar panels.
No, thank you, I said, we neither need, nor want, solar panels. Oh yes you do, she replied, everybody does.
A different tack was needed with this one.
"We are not allowed solar panels. We live in a 200-year-old house in a World Heritage site," I said, thinking I'd just dealt the trump card.
Not a bit of it.
"But madam", said she, "the panels don't even need to be attached to the roof. Or the house."
Well, how the devil do they work then? Stuck out like some sort of weird antennae from our ancient and protected brickwork? Not likely.
I didn't ask of course.
But the insistence with which some of these folk stay on the line as they reassure you that they know better than you what is necessary for your home, is quite breathtaking.
And you are always stirring the gravy, tossing a salad, feeding the dogs or rushing to go out. None of which is a valid excuse in the world of cold calling.
Well tell you what, callers, you don't call me and I promise I'll never call you.
Deal?
