Mark Andrews: There's not place like Hove for Angela Rayner, and the puzzle of Dyson's new vacuum cleaners
Mark Andrews takes a wry look at the week's news
I wonder if the demise of Angela Rayner's career came down to a simple problem with communication?
It's just a hunch, but I wonder if, when Sir Keir said "I want you to build 1.5 million homes" in that funny southern accent, Mrs R misunderstood, and thought he said "I want you to buy some £1.5 million homes."
As for all that stamp duty malarkey, I guess it happens to us all at some time or another. You know the score, you're busy at work, busy at home, and the expensive tax consultant you hire to advise you on minimising the tax on your third home gives you some phoney advice. We've all done it.
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The thing I don't get is why Angie wanted to buy a holiday home in Hove of all places. For someone who styles herself as the voice of the northern working-class - to the point that she once insisted on Hansard recording her incorrect grammar in all its mangled glory - it is a decidedly bourgeoisie choice of location.
Wouldn't she have been happier in Blackpool or Morecambe? Or even Brighton itself at a push. But Hove, or 'Hove Actually' as it is known by locals, at great pains to distance themselves from their brash larger neighbour up the road? I would never have had that down as her scene at all.
It's amazing what a year in office can do to you.
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Sir James Dyson this week unveiled the world's first AI vacuum cleaner. Which sounds like a terrible idea to me. It's bad enough having to talk to a robot when you telephone your bank or insurance company, but a flipping vacuum cleaner?
I wonder what an AI vacuum cleaner actually does. Does it spy on your cleaning habits, and then spill the beans to it's mate up the road?
"Eh, 'er up the road's a right'un you know. Never bothers cleaning under the bookcase you know. Filthy cow."
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Sir James also unveiled the world's slimmest vacuum cleaner, which is just an inch-and-a-half in diameter, although I can't quite see the point when the head is the same width as any other cleaner. And besides, surely all real men want is the biggest and most powerful device they can get their hands on?When I bought my Vax Air3 about 10 years ago, it was so strong that it started pulling up the carpets. When I rang the Vax helpline, the lady said a lot of customers had experienced similar problems, and offered me a refund.
I didn't take up the offer, I just bragged about it to my mates instead. And you want to see the size of my jet-wash....




