Mark Andrews: Darth Vader in the NHS, unpacking the BBC buzzwords, and safe standing on aeroplanes

Lorna Rooke was working in the NHS Blood and Transplant service when she was sent on a stupid team-building exercise where they filled in a silly questionnaire to find out which Star Wars character they most closely resembled.

Mrs Rooke left the room to take a telephone call, and a colleague filled out the questionnaire on her behalf, and revealed that the answer was Darth Vader.

So far, so predictably stupid. Mrs Rooke decided to sue the NHS, and has just been awarded nearly £29,000 for her hurt feelings. 

I can't quite decide which makes me the angriest. That a vital service which is supposed to be perpetually overworked and strapped for cash is wasting precious time and resources on childish quizzes about 1980s sci-fi characters, that the employee in question was so thin-skinned that she couldn't take a bit of banter, or that the employment tribunal saw fit to award someone £29,000 of taxpayers' cash because someone's feelings were hurt for being compared to a movie villain.

I'm guessing it didn't do too much for team bonding, either..

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Mind you, had I known hurt feelings in the workplace were such a lucrative business, I could have been quits in. Most of us hacks get used to being called far worse than Darth Vader. My personal favourite was the councillor, annoyed by the amount of coverage we were giving to his allowances, told me: "You're beneath the gutter, and I hope you find your true vocation on the Daily Sport'." And just the other week, a colleague told me I looked like Jim McDonald out of Coronation Street. And that was a friend. 

Twenty-nine grand for being compared to Darth Vader? There must be millions waiting for me.

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it does remind me, though, of a very funny court case some years back involving a Star Wars fan from Walsall who changed his name by deed poll to Darth Vader. The man was assaulted by one of his neighbours, and his wife tried to break up the fight.

"There was a scuffle involving the two men and Mrs Vader tried to get between them, " said the prosecutor. "The defendant struck her but there is evidence that, in fact, he had been trying to hit Darth Vader."

His attacker pleaded guilty to 'possessing a bladed article'. And, no, it wasn't a light sabre.

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I was watching a late-night programme on BBC News 24 this week, with two luminaries in Middle Eastern politics. Yes, I know I should get out more, but there's not a lot else on television these days.

One of them started the show by saying 'there's a lot to unpack there'. A few sentences later, the other asked 'what does that look like?' 

I don't recall if either of them said 'egregious' - they had kinda lost me by that stage. And that's the thing. I was so distracted by the mindless gobbledegook that I've completely forgotten what they were talking about. 

These were supposed to be the clever people, who knew what their stuff. And they were talking in the kind of inane buzzwords you might expect to hear in one of those Darth Vader 'workshops'.

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An exciting new development from Europe, with the introduction of safe standing. Not at football matches, mind, but on aircraft. From next year, budget airlines will be able to offer what is essentially a backrest and seatbelt, enabling them to pack in even more passengers. I guess it's only a matter of time before the rail operators bring back the wooden bench seats, like in the John Wayne films. Do you ever wonder if the world is really progressing?