Bereaved Shrewsbury mum who lost two sons and launched group to help people through heartache

“It was like they were there, saying ‘go on mum, we’re proud of you’.”

Those are the words of a bereaved Shrewsbury mum who, after the tragic deaths of two of her sons, has found meaning in helping others devastated by tragedy.

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Shane Game was left heartbroken when her son Toby Jones died aged 31 after getting into difficulty in the River Severn in Shrewsbury in April 2022.

The pain was all too familiar for Shane, whose son Ben Hughes passed away 10 years earlier at the age of 28 after his body rejected heart and lung transplants.

Both painful losses would be too much for many to bear, but a year after Toby’s death Shane began channelling her grief into helping others who have suffered the loss of loved ones.

The Shropshire Bereavement Group started as a small meet up in Shrewsbury - somewhere for people who have suffered similar pain to lean on one another.

But now, three and a half years on, there are six meets in the county, as well as a national phone chat service and WhatsApp group.

Shane estimates that she has supported around 900 people altogether through the group, and has even been told by people she helped that she brought them back from the brink of suicide.

“I’ve been talking to someone on the phone or at the group. Sometimes you can be with them for hours. Then later they say ‘you’ve saved my life’ and I can tell they mean it.

“What makes the group special is that you’re around people who understand, people who’ve been through something similar to you.

“Everyone deals with grief differently, and no-one’s grief is bigger than someone else’s. We’re all just there to support each other.”

When tragedy touched her again in 2022, it quickly became clear to Shane how there was a huge lack of help for grief-stricken people who don’t know where to turn.

“You can go to the doctors and they might give you tablets,” she said. “Or they might give you an appointment with a counsellor but you’re on a waiting list for 12 months.

“When this happens to you, you don’t need an appointment in 12 months, you need something now. That’s where we come in.”

Shane now runs three meet ups in Shrewsbury - at Severn Fields Medical Practice, Sundorne; Castlefields Community Hub and Emstrey Crematorium - as well as one at Oswestry Memorial Hall, Bargates Hall in Whitchurch and Lawley Community Hub in Telford.

All of the meets ups are free, with the group being funded by donations, good will and financial grants.

The National Lottery has recently given a two-year £20,000 grant. The group has also benefited from support from Persimmon Homes, Telford Tree of Light, Wellington Rotary Club, Whitchurch Town Council and the Wynn Foundation.

Shane was also presented with a mayor’s award by Shrewsbury Town Council earlier this year at a special ceremony at Shrewsbury Town FC’s Croud Meadow.

“I was really nervous and then the name came up,” Shane said. “It was surreal. I went up and I felt something. I felt the boys.

“It was like they were saying ‘go on mum, we’re proud of you’.

“When I got up to the mayor he said ‘are you alright?’ I said ‘I think my boys are here’.”

“It’s my life now”

All different kinds of bereaved people have reached out to the group, from people affected by terrible tragedy to elderly people whose spouses of many decades have died, leaving them all alone.

Shane welcomes everyone to the group and tries to help as best she can. She also has strong links to other organisations and professionals who can help people suffering with grief.

“It’s my life now,” she said. “Your heart has four chambers. I think two of mine died when I lost the boys, but doing this makes it feel like I’m filling them up again.”

This Sunday (November 1) the Shropshire Bereavement Group is holding a craft and wellbeing day at Albrighton Hall Hotel from 10.30am to 4.30pm.

There will be a mixture of wellbeing therapists, psychics and stalls offering crystals, glassware, jewellery, oils, room sprays plus a variety of craft stalls. Entry is free and there will also be a tombola and raffle. Everyone is welcome.

To find out more about the Shropshire Bereavement Group and find out when and where your nearest meet up is, visit shropshirebereavement.group/.