Telly Talk: Talking about having no telly

When I tell people, I get the look, admits Chrissy Symmons.

It is a mixed look of shock, confusion and slight admiration.

It is one of those looks often found on faces of the prim and proper who have just witnessed someone stripped down to their birthday suit running across the sports pitch during nationals.

Yes, that is the look I get when I tell people I don't have a television.

The look is then quickly followed by comments such as "you what!?!", "pardon?" or "say that again..."

Because to some being without a TV is just as unusual as walking out the house and discovering your nose no longer sits on your face.

And the TV licence company can't believe me either.

At least once a quarter my letter box is filled with a warning notice threatening me with fines and possible prison sentences unless I pay up.

So once a year I put in a courtesy call to the customer care line to again remind them that yes, it's true, I am goggle-box free.

In response they adjust my file and again warn me of imprisonment etc.

They tell me how they will have to send someone round to my house to check I'm not harbouring a TV set fugitive in my closet or sneaking in some midnight viewing when I think no one is looking.

And then after the 'I've-just-seen-an–unexpected-streaker' look leaves people's faces the next question is why?

Well, let me tell you the secret I have discovered. This thing we call a television is actually a cleverly disguised reality-busting, time devouring machine which sucks creativity and individuality out of life.

In the days when I was the proud owner of a telly I found myself sat on the floor with remote controls in hand flicking through hundreds of channels desperately looking for something to interest and entertain me.

And when I finally settled on a 40 minute show it would be rudely interrupted with loud ad breaks tempting me with shiny new products I neither wanted nor could afford.

So I threw my television away.

Suddenly domestic violence, drug takers, teen pregnancy dilemmas, war torn countries and scary axe wielding murders vacated my home and there was peace.

I rediscovered books, started baking, cleaned the house, visited the theatre and cinema and discovered the beauty of the thousands of sparkly stars hanging in the sky outside my living room window.

And that is why I don't have a television.