Blog: That's the last time I do Christmas online...

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Blog: This year, what with my apparent inability to stay out of hospital for any length of time, I decided to go all 21st century and buy my Christmas presents online.

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Blog: This year, what with my apparent inability to stay out of hospital for any length of time, I decided to go all 21st century and buy my Christmas presents online, writes Emma Suddaby.

I've been sitting up, late into the night, tap-tapping away on a virtual bargain-hunt to ensure I don't get caught out by any last-minute hospital admissions. And today I actually finished, everyone accounted for, mission accomplished.

But rather than sitting back with a cup of tea and a smug feeling inside, I'm now worrying about the massive online delivery backlog caused by the Arctic weather, with consumer experts now predicting a possible three-week delay.

Honestly, you just can't win, can you?

The other thing is that my online buying record is not exactly good. I used to do my food shopping online but no matter how long I took to make sure I was choosing the right product, no matter how meticulously I read the small print on the product information, I would inevitably end up taking delivery of several carrier-bags worth of eeny-weeny-tiny-teeny tins of beans, one banana, seven loaves of bread and a massive, family sized vat of Marmite.

It's just too easy to order the wrong thing when you can't hold it up in front of you . . .

And then there's my bathroom mirror. I wanted to order a mirror big enough to cover the horrible tile mosaic of a Roman lady holding an urn that someone, somewhere along the line had installed as the height of bathroom sophistication.

After what felt like years, trawling the internet for the perfect mirror, I finally found The One. I took my time, making sure to order the right size, knowing it had to be a certain width and depth in order to cover the troublesome lady along with her urn and by the time I clicked on the checkout button, I was sure I'd got it right.

What I failed to realise - until it arrived, of course - is that the mirror may be large but it is shaped like a rubber ducky, not square, so I now have a huge, duck shaped mirror with the (even huger) head, urn and feet of a Roman lady, poking out the sides& Not quite the artful cover-up I'd been aiming for.

So if any of my Christmas shopping actually gets delivered in time to hand over on the big day, it will be a miracle.

But quite what my loved-ones will end up unwrapping is another thing altogether.

I foresee a season of IOUs, store returns and apologies& and should you spot my 6ft nephew in a child-sized reindeer jumper while you're out and about, you'll know my online shopping mission turned out to be a semi-successful one.

Just be glad you're not on my Christmas list this year!

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