Adoption: Offering a home to older children in Shropshire

For years, they had been certain that they did not want children, but by the time they reached their early 40s they began to think they were missing out.

"We realised that we had a massive gap in our lives," says Andrew.

The couple, from the Telford area, decided to adopt a child, and have never looked back.

At the moment there are more then 4,000 children across England who are in need of a new home. And as part of National Adoption Week, which runs until Sunday, Shropshire's adoption service is seeking people – families, couples and individuals – to provide a loving, caring home to such children.

Becky and Tim adopted a five-year-old boy several years ago, having already brought up a son and daughter.

Becky says: "I had a chance conversation with a relative who is a social worker about how difficult it is to adopt children over a certain age.

"That started us thinking. We were quite certain we wanted to adopt an older child. We were lucky enough to raise our children from birth. We wanted to give a child who needed a family what our children had."

Becky says the couple involved their children from the start, adding they wouldn't have been able to proceed had they not been fully on board. "They were both very positive but we had to manage their expectations because there are no definites," she says.

Becky described the two-stage nine-month-long process that followed as thorough but straightforward.

The local adoption agency compiled a report about the couple that went before an adoption panel, which decided they were suitable to be adopters.

Then a panel identified a child who was a suitable match.

Becky and Tim slowly started to take over their son's care in his foster home, and after 10 days he was ready to move in with them. Becky took adoption leave from work and kept him out of school so he had time to bond with his new family.

"We have really special memories of that time," says Becky. "It was nerve-wracking but lovely at the same time.

"He immediately settled in playing with his big brother. He never had a sister before so that took him a while to get used to.

"Our son is a bundle of fun; he has this fantastic little personality. We have a new little person in the house."

In particular, the county's joint adoption service is seeking homes for children over the age of four, and brothers and sisters who need to be kept together.

It was announced this week that Telford & Wrekin Council and Shropshire Council would help to form one of the country's first Regional Adoption Agencies.

Six Midlands Councils have been hand-picked by the Government to join forces to place children waiting for adoption with their forever family without delay.

The new group will also include Wolverhampton City Council, Walsall Metropolitan Borough Council, Dudley Metropolitan Borough Council, Sandwell Council and agency Adoption Focus.

For Andrew and Margaret, it could hardly have worked out better.

"We decided that we'd really like to have more than one child, and didn't want to disrupt a young life if we later adopted another child," says Andrew.

"We both had siblings ourselves, so we knew the benefits of having another brother or sister alongside you as you grow up.

"We had also set our sights on adopting older children – around the age of five – rather than a baby or very young child. Being in our early 40s, we were a little concerned about our age, and felt that we could offer more to children in this age range."

Melanie Steele, of the joint adoption service which serves the Shropshire Council and Telford & Wrekin areas, says adopting a young child can seem daunting at the best of times, and that for many the challenges of taking in older children, those with brothers and sisters, or youngsters with disabilities, can seem even greater.

"However, these are the very children most in need of a loving, supportive home, something every child deserves and needs to make the very best start in life," she says.

Mrs Steele added that adoptive parents could come from all walks of life, and there was no specific profile they needed to adopt.

"The 'right home' for a child can be with older couples, single people, those of different sexual orientation and ethnic backgrounds, and from any walk of life," she says.

"The factors we look for are caring, patience and commitment. If you think adoption might be right for you, just get in touch. If you do go ahead and adopt, there is support and advice available every step of the way."

Like many single people, Simon had assumed for many years that he would not be able to adopt a child, but eventually he decided to apply and was – to his surprise – accepted.

"Most of my friends have children, and I simply wanted to have a young person in my life to love and care for," says Simon, who is from Bridgnorth.

"Being self-employed, it wouldn't have worked out to have a baby, and yes, there are perhaps more challenges with an older child, but it has really worked out for us both.

"You need to be open and not restrict yourselves to the sort of child you think you could provide a loving home for."

And Andrew says that there is no experience quite like meeting the children for the first time.

"It is just life-changing, as it is for any parent," he says. "In fact, it was love at first sight, and before long we were a good, strong, happy family unit."

Over the border in Powys, Becky and Tim Morgan decided to adopt an older boy after a conversation with a relative who works for social services about how difficult it was to find homes for older children.

Becky, who is 39, says: "We were lucky enough to raise our two children from birth. We wanted to give a child who needed a family what our children had."

She says there is an assumption that adopting a baby or toddler makes it easier to form a bond, or that they are likely to come with fewer problems.

"An older child might have had a traumatic background but you shouldn't assume it is going to be harder or have a less positive outcome for the child because that's not always the case. It wasn't in our experience."

She says an older child will have a greater sense of who they are, and as long as you are open with them and are able to talk them through their issues it can be a positive experience.

"For us it has been a joy. Knowing that we have been able to provide a child with that permanency is hugely rewarding," she adds.

Tim, who runs the family farm in the north of the county, says: "Our son now has security, consistency and comfort in his family, something he never had before."

Suzanne Griffiths, director of operations for the Welsh National Adoption Service, says while there has been a fall in the average time it takes to adopt children in Wales, it still takes longer in the case of older children.

"Most of the adopters who come in to the system want to adopt the youngest, least complex children they can. We fully understand that, but there are older children coming through the care system who need adopting, and we believe that these deserve as much of a chance at a happy family life."

*To find out more call 0800 783 8798, visit www.roominyourheartforadoption.co.uk or email adoption@ontracagency.com