I auditioned for Peaky Blinders (as an extra) – Here’s how it went
"Are you for the Peaky Blinders casting?" asked the receptionist at Birmingham Hippodrome. "They will let you through in about an hour".
I bet they wouldn't have told Tommy Shelby to stand around in a queue.
The makers of Peaky Blinders are looking for extras to appear in the forthcoming seventh series, and held a casting session at Birmingham Repertory Theatre for would-be background characters in the West Midland period gangster series.
Casting agency Lucas Extras invited people 'with the 1950s look' to come along. For some reason my colleagues thought that meant me.
Doors opened at 9am, and by 10am the queue was stretching out into the neighbouring library. Some had attempted to dress for the part, putting on their best tweeds and flat caps, others turned up in their civvies.
Waiting at the door at 9am was Luke Icke, 33, from Bilston.
He wasn't sure what he expected to come of it, but thought it would be an interesting experience.
"I like to put myself into uncomfortable situations," he said. "I travel on my own, I produce music videos."
He says he was told not to worry too much about cutting his hair, as if he landed a part, the stylists would do it.
Georgina Kerr-Jones, 26, from Cheslyn Hay, was another early hopeful.
She was just 13 years old when Cillian Murphy first made his debut as antihero Tommy Shelby, and said the show had become synonymous with the region.
"It's just iconic, everywhere you go, if you say you're from the Midlands, people will say 'ooh Peaky Blinders'. To be actually involved with it, and to say 'I was in it' would be really cool.
"It's put us on the map, which is really cool, nobody knew Birmingham before, it was always London, and Manchester is very up and coming, but I do think they have elevated Birmingham."
You may be relieved to know that my wardrobe does not include a flat-cap with a razor-blade sewn into the peak, but I did manage to find an old beret which I thought could possibly be folded to look like a Peaky's cap. Despite it being a warm, sunny day, and the casting being done indoors, I thought wearing a big overcoat over the shoulders would complete the menacing look. So here goes.
With hindsight, the beret was probably a mistake, making me look less a menacing gangster, and more like an effete art teacher at a second-tier French university. Nevertheless, I had perfected my scowl, which at least meant people didn't argue too much as I pushed towards the front of the queue, although I couldn't resist trying out my ham acting by picking a fight with another hopeful.
Once you actually get through to the casting area, the process was surprisingly swift. After being asked to briefly take a seat in an area that resembled a hospital waiting room, I am called to a desk where my application details are confirmed.
I am then taken through to a room where my mugshot is taken, and so I give Tony the photographer my best scowl.
"That's a perfect mugshot," observes our own photographer Steve, who thinks I seem to be taking this method acting thing a bit too far. Tony seems so disturbed that he asks to take my picture from the back.
Then we're taken to another room, where my measurements are taken: height, chest, shoe size and waist. Am I really a 37in waist? I'm sure I'm only a 34, and I'm ready for a fight to prove it, but Sienna and Sophia, who is from Lichfield just politely take down my details and move on to the next hopefuls.
Jordan Natt, from Lewis Extras which has organised the casting session, said about 200 people had come through the doors in the first couple of hours.
"It's been wonderful, we've had a really good turnout, and also the most organised group of people we've ever had at one of these, everyone's got their profiles made so it's been a breeze for us. We will make sure Birmingham is represented on the screen here in the UK."
And within a few minutes, the casting process is over. I have been read my rights - or terms and conditions as they prefer to call them - and they have taken my details. Nobody asked to hear my best Brummie accent, and my fighting skills weren't needed.
Did I measure up? Well since returning to the office after the casting, I have received several texts asking me to confirm my availability on various dates, with where I might be asked to play a doctor, police officer or canal-boat family. There was also a part for a kissing couple, but maybe I need to walk before I can run.
And I've just decided that if they don't pick me, it's their loss. I'm setting up my own rival firm.
Watch out Peaky Blinders, here I come.
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