Peter Rhodes on royal fashion, bank closures and the enduring appeal of big horses
The never-ending process of closing down bank branches continues with Lloyds Banking Group revealing plans to shut another 136 branches. Am I the only one thinking Lloyds might afford to keep some of those branches open, if it wasn't spending so much on those black horses in its TV adverts?
But when it comes to the rich and powerful, like the people who run the banks or govern the nation , there's something alluring and macho about gee-gees. So Lloyds has its jet-black stallions and the Household Cavalry its magnificent chargers. And you and I, comrades, pick up the bill.
Guess how many horses the British Army has? You may as well guess because the actual figure seems to be a state secret. It was once whispered that the army had twice as many horses as tanks. This was promptly denied by the Ministry of Defence which gave the actual figures of 501 horses and 334 tanks. But that was in 2012, since when many of our tanks have been sent to Ukraine. According to Google, the 2012 totals are “the most up-to-date figures available,” which makes me suspect we have reached the embarrassing ratio of two horses to every tank, and they're keeping quiet about it.
Bad news for those of us hacks who are colour-blind. Kate, Princess of Wales, is ending the practice of supplying the media with details of her outfits on public duties. The aim is to focus attention on her good works, not her dazzling appearance. This may be good news for the metropolitan fashionistas who can tell an eau-de-nil blazer from an emerald hacking jacket at 500 paces but it's a nightmare for those of us who see something sort of greenish-creamy-pinky, or is it jade?
I am reminded of the Charles & Di royal wedding all those years ago when, thanks to the palace crib sheet, we hacks in St Paul's were able to report that the bride wore an ivory silk taffeta gown with antique Carrickmacross lace, a 25-foot train and a tulle veil. Until that moment the consensus in the press pack was that the gown was “sorta creamy and it needs a damn good ironing.”
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