Peter Rhodes on the next government, smoky justice and a day out for Kate Bush fans
Let us start the week with a prediction. If Jeremy Corbyn leads a new left-wing party as promised, the next UK Government will be a coalition of Reform UK and the Conservatives (if you risk a bet on this, make it a small one).
An advisory opinion issued by the International Court of Justice in The Hague means that Britain might one day be sued by poorer nations for “historical emissions” it created during the Industrial Revolution. This is such a bonkers idea that, in our increasingly bonkers world, it might just come true. Remember, the chief aim of international law seems to be providing large salaries for international lawyers.
Meanwhile, I look forward to seeing earnest young barristers trying to convince the pollution-legacy courts that any given percentage of “historical emissions” in a location was caused not by indigenous people chopping down and burning trees, as has happened for centuries, nor by volcanos erupting, nor occasional forest fires but by wicked, imperialist steam engines made in England. Tricky.
British society is made up of a lots of people with curious hobbies and the towering obsessions that go with them. Just when you think you've encountered the oddest, most niche of hobbies, along comes something odder. I refer to the fans who, every July, dress up as Kate Bush and, regardless of gender or talent, perform Wuthering Heights at Folkestone harbour. I had no idea these people existed but aren't you rather glad they do?
As you may recall, my life-transforming switch from old copper cable to full-fibre Digital Voice on July 1 has not gone as smoothly as the BT adverts may suggest. Now, without my asking for a single penny, BT have stumped up a credit to my account for £230.88. I have no idea how they calculate this figure but I get the impression it is a routine and well-polished performance.
Having become thoroughly hacked off with technology over the past month, I'm tempted to ask BT for the credit in cash, in order to invest in a communication system that actually works. Even in these inflationary times, £230.88 buys a lot of stamps.
PS: At the time of writing the landline is still down, but then you can't have everything, can you?.
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