Peter Rhodes on noisy neighbours, dodgy computers and the power of TV drama
Trigger alert: this blog contains toilet noises. It is indeed a bog-blog. Readers of a nervous disposition should look away now.
But first, the awesome power of telly. People who follow the news have known for years that a faulty computer system called Horizon wrongly convicted hundreds of Post Office staff of dishonesty. Some were forced to sign false confessions, some were jailed. The whole squalid, bullying episode was like something out of Stalin's Russia. Thankfully, it ended with wholesale acquittals and millions of pounds in compensation to postmasters.
As I say, those in the know have been aware of this grotesque national scandal for years. It was in the public arena but it was all rather complicated and, by and large, the public either didn't know or didn't want to know.
But now it is simplified for telly and turned into an ITV drama, Mr Bates vs The Post Office, starring that nice bloke from Detectorists. Suddenly, the nation is horrified. There's a national petition and even talk of those who led this witch hunt themselves being investigated.
The actor Toby Jones and his crew have focused more attention on the Horizon scandal in a few hours than the mainstream media and our legal system managed in years. Well done.
Location, Location, Location (C4) host Kirstie Allsopp says some detached houses are “not environmentally practical” and lead to “less community.” Maybe so. But they also lead to fewer neighbours living only a wall's-thickness away from your own home.
I recall a colleague who bought a smart little maisonette, only to discover that every splash, whisper and burst of flatulence from next door's bathroom echoed into his lounge. He referred to the neighbours as The Gurgles.
We knew another semi-dwelling couple whose neighbour's colonic habits were so precise and predictable that, long before they were formally introduced, they knew him as Five o' Clock Freddie.
Kirstie Allsopp says “that gap between houses on new estates is a waste of space.” Is it, Kirstie? Or is it more of a blessed sound-break which enables you to greet the people next door without exploding into hysterical laughter?
Hi, Freddie. Good to put a face to the noise . . . .
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