Peter Rhodes on deadly eagles, armed police – and the end of warfare as we know it?

Sea eagles are the aerial equivalent of the great white shark, famously described in Jaws as “ a swimming appetite.” Eagles have no conscience and no mercy, merely the overwhelming need to feed. And if they can carry off a baby pony, they can carry off a baby.

China is showing off its latest weapon, a laser weapon designed to snuff drones and other weapons out of the sky. This could mean the end of attack drones and any other weapons using shells, bullets or missiles – the end of warfare as we know it.

And when an entire generation of weapons is rendered obsolete, what will one nation use to vanquish another nation? I'd put my money on germs.

Our house insurance policy has obligingly renewed itself. Studying the small print, I discover we are covered for “fire, lightning, explosion or earthquake but not from burns or scorching, unless accompanied by flames.” Good to get that sorted.

Why not have two sorts of police patrolling British airports? The first would be equipped with guns to protect us from terrorists. The second sort would be unarmed and avuncular, to be sent into action to deal with, for example, a popular middle-aged comedian over something he texted months ago. 

If Father Ted co-creator Graham Linehan had been met at Heathrow by one or two traditional British bobbies for a quiet chat about his tweets, it would have been bad enough. 

But his mob-handed arrest involving five armed officers gives it a sinister, North Korea twist. The “optics,” to use a PR buzzword, were all wrong.

You can't help noticing that politicians of the Left claim to be horrified by Linehan's texts while those of the Right say his “hate” words are not a serious incitement to violence. 

But don't you suspect the politicians would spout entirely opposite opinions if the “hate” had come, for example, from a trans activist suggesting her opponents deserved a poke in the eye? Outrage can be remarkably flexible these days.

Which reminds me. Some years ago I suggested one group of activists needed “putting in a bag and shaking.” I expect the knock of a police-issue gun on my door at any moment.