Mark Andrews: My St George's day milestone, Morrison's green light to thieves, and Shabana on white liberals

Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood has accused white liberals of racism after being heckled over her attempts to crack down on unlawful migration.

“I do think there is that element of it, which is: ‘How dare you, a brown woman, say a thing that we white liberals think you’re not allowed to say?’ Well I’m saying it.”

Good for her, I think she has hit the nail on the head. And the same could also be said of Kemi Badenoch.

There seems to be a particular type of well-heeled, condescending white liberal who thinks holding a particular viewpoint automatically places them on the moral high ground, benevolently speaking on behalf of the downtrodden victims.

But when the people they are supposed to be championing say they would actually like to speak for themselves? What a cheek, there’s gratitude for you....

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Which is probably why, amid feverish speculation about the Prime Minister’s future, we keep being told there is no obvious successor: Angela Rayner is still embroiled in legal shenanigans about her tax affairs, while Andy Burnham, the self-styled King of the North, was shamefully denied a fast-track route back into parliament to claim the throne that was always rightfully his.

And Miss Mahmood rarely gets a mention.

Now we are told that the latest ruse is for Sir Keir to save his premiership by announcing Burnham as his preferred future successor.

“It’s Andy or bust,” is the word going around.

If we’re pinning all our hopes on a man whose main attribute, as far as I can see, is modelling centrist-dad clothing ranges, then things must be worse than we thought. And if I were Shabana Mahmood, who if nothing else at least gives the impression of understanding ordinary people in the Midlands, I would be seething.

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Sean Egan was sacked as manager of Morrison’s Aldridge branch after defending himself against a career shoplifter who spat in his face.

The company says he failed to comply with its ‘deter and not detain’ policy. Now I’m a simple guy, but how can you possibly deter shoplifting if your policy is to let them get away with it? And let’s be realistic, every tea leaf in the country now knows that they can go to Morrison’s without fear of being detained. Some deterrent that is.

More reasons not to shop at Morrison’s.

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I hope you all had a happy St George’s Day, however you decided to mark it. For me, this year, it was particularly symbolic, as it also marked the fifth anniversary of when I had a heart attack while writing this column.

The good news, at least for me, is that now the milestone has passed, the risk of another attack falls significantly.

Over that time I have cut out the biscuits, chocolate and pork scratchings, and limited my drinking to 14(ish) units a week. My only indulgence was wine gums, which I am also now cutting out - because I have been told my sugar levels are too high.

I also exercise for at least an hour a day, which means I’m perpetually knackered, and rarely get to bed before 2am. Which in turn led to me spending a good 90 minutes of my St George’s Day anniversary in an optician’s being treated for dry eyes. Too much time in front of a computer screen, not enough sleep was said to be to blame.

As Tommy Docherty once observed: “When one door shuts, another one slams in your face.”