Fantasy Cabinet – who would you choose?

Thursday 13th May 2010, 11:30AM BST.

The first meeting of David Cameron's Cabinet, with North Shropshire MP Owen Paterson on the right.
The first meeting of David Cameron's Cabinet, with North Shropshire MP Owen Paterson on the right.

Prime Minister David Cameron has made his choices. But who would you pick if you were handed the keys to Number 10?

Welcome to Fantasy Cabinet 2010 – where you get to be Prime Minister and decide who will help you to run the country.

We’ve made our choices for some of the top jobs. Have a read and then nominate your own choices. It doesn’t matter which party they support, and to be perfectly honest it doesn’t matter if they can support themselves either – your Fantasy Cabinet choices can be alive or dead, from any country and from any period in time. Just tell us, if you could call on anybody to run the country, who would you choose and why.

Here’s some of our choices for the top jobs. Now tell us yours.

The Shropshirestar.com Fantasy Cabinet 2010

Prime Minister – Sir Sean Connery: Obviously we’d like the top job ourselves, but an internet site doesn’t run itself, you know. Therefore, in the spirit of coalition, we’ve decided to bring in a figure loved by millions, a person who would unite the English, Welsh and the Scots – not to mention the good people of the Bahamas. Sir Sean definitely fits the bill here. Also, he is well-known for his cautious attitude to money, so the national debt shouldn’t be a problem, and, given his celluloid reputation, rogue states/billionaire madmen are unlikely to try anything on during a Connery administration. Result.

Deputy Prime Minister – Daniel Craig: Widely considered to be almost as good as Sir Sean, so really he’s the only possible candidate for the role.

Could also deputise when Sir Sean is on the golf course. So we imagine that we’d all be seeing quite a bit of him on News at Ten.

Chancellor of the Exchequer – Ebenezer Scrooge: A tricky choice, this. If we get the Ebenezer from the start of A Christmas Carol then we should have nothing to worry about at all. Classic Ebenezer is the only choice for controlling this debt-ridden nation’s purse strings as he is tighter than four coats of paint and utterly devoted to his work. We’d be out of the red in no time at all. However, there would be a price to pay as the prisons and workhouses would soon be bursting at the seams – so the cost/benefit ratio would need careful consideration. Also, he undergoes a dramatic conversion at the end of A Christmas Carol and ends up a shadow of his former self. Could be a bit too soppy for the task, frankly. It depends which version we get.

Secretary of State for Defence – Sir Michael Caine: Whether it’s seeing off an invasion force of angry Zulus armed with only a revolver and a posh accent, defending the nation from Pierce Brosnan’s Russian nuclear bomber in The Fourth Protocol, or making sure Batman gets to bed on time, Maurice Micklewhite would be an invaluable addition to any Cabinet seeking to protect the best interests of Blighty. Also a good friend of Sir Sean’s, so cabinet splits are most unlikely, and CAN START SHOUTING FOR NO APPARENT REASON IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE – a valuable skill at the negotiating table. However, European Union’s Italian contingent unlikely to welcome him with open arms after that unfortunate business in Turin back in the sixties.

Secretary of State for Education – “Wee” Jimmy Krankie: Nobody knows the education system like “Wee” Jimmy. He’s been in school for the past forty years and still hasn’t gotten out of short trousers. However, apple scrumping and whoopie cushions might be considered a bit tame by today’s knife-wielding generation of Clockwork Orange-style feral schoolchildren. Still, the positives outweight the negatives in our view.

Minister of State (Universities and Science) – Dr Who: The Doctor is a natural choice for both subject areas as he is renowned for his intelligence and curiosity – as well as for his ability to talk very very fast to paper over any gaping holes in the plot, and for the way he just makes something up when cornered by a supposedly unstoppable enemy. Tardis would also be of great interest to the Department of Transport. However, drawbacks could include his ability to talk very very fast to paper over any gaping holes in the plot, and for the way he just makes something up when cornered by a supposedly unstoppable enemy. Also, Department of Transport guaranteed to make a complete pig’s ear of Tardis technology. Still, the kids’ll love him, although getting the necessary work permit could prove tricky after the rules on employing foreign nationals are tightened up.


  1. 1
    Me

    Tony Benn
    He is a good man with good morals and a true interest in our country and the people in it.
    And people love him.
    I would really like him as prime minister.

    Report abuse

  2. 2
    andrew finch

    I would choose a decent, fair, Honest,nice bloke infact i would choose me.

    Report abuse

  3. 3
    merc

    Prime Minister: Brian Blessed
    Deputy PM: Barbara Windsor
    Lord Chancellor: Julian Clary
    Home Secretary: Katie Silicone-Price
    Speaker of the House: Stanley Unwin

    Secretaries of State & Ministers:
    Treasury: Elizabeth Windsor
    Education: Pink Floyd
    Defence: Lance Corporal Jones
    Health: Oliver Reed
    Environment: Sir Thomas Crapper
    Transport: Noddy
    Culture: Noddy Holder

    Report abuse



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