Jack Averty: Lots has changed in five years but one thing remains the same

A lot went down that year. One of the world’s most famous and historic newspapers, the Washington Post, was bought by Amazon founder and multi-gazillionaire Jeff Bezos, Bitcoin (which that one friend claims to have mastered despite still living in his parent’s spare bedroom) started to hit the headlines and, of course, we were introduced to the wonders of the new Xbox and Playstation.

Well, wonders for us blokes who get to spend our evenings drooling over Fifa, perhaps less wondrous for our long-suffering significant others who are left screaming at us to ‘put that bl***dy controller down and wash up’.

But apart from tearing relationships apart, 2013 will be remembered for the launch of the Star’s Weekend supplement.

And what a supplement it is, providing you with gripping real-life features, mouth-watering food reviews and priceless top tips on everything from cooking salmon in a dishwasher to fashion advice that, for once in our lives, left us looking like we hadn’t got dressed in the dark. (A quick disclaimer, I was under no duress to write this and I have been reliably informed that my family are safe and well.)

The following year picked up where 2013 left off. Yes, our girlfriends may have left us over our Fifa obsession, but technological advances continued as we saw big name companies battling it out to release the best smartwatch, and Uber’s meteoric rise, from small start-up company to an enterprise with a worse human rights record than Uganda, began.

Sadly, the year also had its dark moments. First there was the creation of the vomit-inducing asymmetrical man thong, which, somehow, became a fashion trend – albeit for an incredibly short amount of time.

Then there was the fateful moment that would change one of the most important days in the calendar for good. Transfer Deadline Day had become a rite of passage for blokes who wanted to pretend they were proper lads by skipping work for the day to sit in front on their sofa and watch a yellow ticker run along the bottom of a screen.

But the sacred day lost its shine and has been unable to recover since Sky Sports reporter Alan Irvine had a purple sex toy thrust into his ear.

However, away from thongs and sex toys, 2014 also started off what was to be a fantastic few years for LGBT rights as Apple CEO Tim Cook became the latest high-profile figure to reveal his sexuality, at the same time as 35 states in America legalised gay marriage – the highest in the country’s history.

And while the world around us changed, for the better and the worse, who was ever present providing that much-needed weekly dose of celebrity interviews and television picks? Weekend.

The LGBT march continued into 2015 as Ireland legalised same-sex marriage but, true to history, the world was adamant on taking two steps back for every step forward.

If the creation of the phrase ‘Netflix and chill’ only rattled you, then the question of what colour a particular dress was sure to push you over the edge.

Never has the entire world engaged in such a fierce conflict as it did when people were asked if a dress was gold and white or black and blue (it was definitely gold, by the way).

People dedicated days of their time studying the dress and explaining just why it was the particular colour they said it was.

If only they could have taken that much of an interest in events that were to come a year later . . .

The year that was 2015 also contained a dagger through the heart as One Direction heartthrob Zayn Malik announced he was quitting the band.

But as we wept into our 1D blanket and cut Zayn out of the posters on our wall, who was there to comfort you with the best selection of comedy films and tips to cheer you up? Weekend.

Your favourite newspaper supplement was also there by our side every week throughout the disaster of the year that was 2016.

The less said about that year the better but here’s a brief summary: Prince, David Bowie and George Michael all died while Donald Trump was elected US President and Britain voted to leave the EU.

I think we can all agree that if it wasn’t for Weekend’s Christmas jumper spread in December then we wouldn’t have lived to see 2017.

And thank God we did see it through, as last year brought about the toe-curling Oscars mix-up, a new and improved Great British Bake Off and perhaps the funniest thing to ever happen to anyone – Gemma Collins falling through the stage at Radio 1’s Teen Awards.

Gemma’s fall might have come and gone, as might smartwatches, One Direction and those hideous man thongs.

But the one thing you can always rely on being there is Weekend.

We’ve seen you through the last five years and we’ll do our damnedest to see you through the next five.

Thank you for all your support and happy reading.