I have the solution to Brexit blues – let’s all learn Italian
When do ‘great’ ideas blossom? With me it’s when I’m wearing my 1937 Noel Coward smoking jacket, a treasured family heirloom, which I think has helped me devise a way of making internal debate about Brexit much easier for all those concerned.
The main problem hindering the UK’s internal Brexit negotiations, I am sad to report, are the four languages.
Yes, Northern Irish, English, Scottish and Welsh are all just too aggressive as languages. (Please note the order the countries are in reflects the size of each nation’s wallet, hence Northern Ireland is top because of Mrs May’s bung to the DUP to keep her in power). What the UK needs to do is to start speaking the most beautiful language in the world, Italian. The examples below illustrate my point. “You great steaming nit” becomes “Grando nit nitido.”
“You do not know your bottom from your elbow” becomes “Non conosci il tuo sedere dal tuo gomito.”
“Put a cork in it” becomes “Mettici dentro un tappo.”
Yes the meaning is the same but the flow, the elegance and tempo are much more dignified.
Parliament should immediately pass a law that everyone must start learning Italian, so that from 29/3/19 to help celebrate leaving the EU, Italian will become the official language of the UK from that date also.
Think of the advantages. Will the UK have a better chance of getting a Pope in place? Just think if only we had done this earlier there is every chance Dave Allen could have been Pope.
Yes I know he was married but when did that stop previous Popes?
Yes he was Southern Irish but he was an honorary Londoner. We would understand most operas better and it would be easier to turn Brexit into an opera in the future. So viva the Italian language! I have made a start already.
“Il mio asino non e religioso tranne di venerdi sabato a domenica fermare il conflitti religioso”.
(My donkey is not religious except on Friday, Saturday and Sunday to stop religious conflict).
Peter Steggles, Longnor
Send us your letters for publication:
Email us at starmail@shropshirestar.co.uk or write to: Readers’ Letters, Shropshire Star, Ketley, Telford, TF1 5HU. Letters MUST include the writer’s name, address and telephone number. Letters will only be published anonymously in exceptional circumstances. The editor reserves the right to condense or amend letters.
