Peter Rhodes on the smartphone Commons, a joke that fell flat and a stunning link to the age of slavery

LET'S hope that unfortunate incident when the lads of the Parachute Regiment used a poster of Jeremy Corbyn for paint-bullet target practice in Afghanistan is quickly sorted. It could be an honest mistake. To be fair, Corbyn does bear a passing resemblance to several Taliban leaders.

MEANWHILE, would there be any self-righteous fuss if it turned out the Paras had been shooting paintballs not at an image of Jeremy Corbyn but of Donald Trump? Just high spirits, innit?

WE tend to assume the slave ships taking Africans to a life of misery in the United States were part of ancient history, far removed from our age. Not so. Research has just proved that Sally Smith, the last surviving slave to have been kidnapped in Africa and shipped to the States, died as late as 1937. Suddenly, we have a connection between our own lives and this vile trade. We probably all know someone who was alive when Sally Smith, whose African name was Redoshi, was still living.

I REMEMBER the same sort of time-shock on hearing that the last widow of a soldier of the US Civil War of 1861-65 had died. Maudie Hopkins lived to 93 and passed away in Arkansas - in 2008. Sometimes a single long life offers a window into the past, like a wormhole in time.

I HAD a peep into the abyss of history in 1987 when I interviewed John Evans who, then aged 110, was the oldest authenticated man in the world. Bright as a button in his cosy Welsh cottage, he recalled every detail of a great national tragedy: "You can't imagine how it was, the gloom that came over people here in these streets. You would think the world had come to an end." The outbreak of the Great War in 1914, perhaps? The death of Queen Victoria in 1901? No. John Evans was delving back much further. I am privileged to have spoken to a man who remembered the death of General Charles George Gordon in Khartoum - in 1885.

RICHARD Benyon, Tory MP for Newbury, had been polishing his witticism for one of the interminable Brexit debates and began with the old adage: "Legislate in haste, repent at leisure." It might be more accurate, he suggested, if it went: "If we legislate in haste, we repent in Opposition." Little quips like that add a certain leavening to the stodgy business of politics. So what a pity the Commons chamber was almost empty and the few who might have laughed seemed glued instead to their smartphones. They used to say the Glasgow Empire had the toughest audiences for comedians. The House of Commons must be a close second.

IT'S too late to put the genie back in the bottle but how and when did it come to be acceptable for MPs to fiddle with their iPhones when the business of state is being thrashed out? It is rude towards fellow MPs and shows contempt for the people.