Shropshire Star

Peter Rhodes on the irritating Mr Cratchit, a princess's unpaid bill and more Brexit silliness

Read today's column from Peter Rhodes

Published
Is it a tie?

IF you must give up booze in January, go ahead. But remember the example of Queen Victoria and her husband Albert as recalled by Lucy Worsley in Victoria : Albert: The Royal Wedding (BBC2). Albert was self-disciplined and sparing, eating little and drinking less. Victoria gorged and boozed at every opportunity. She lived until 81. He died at 42.

VICTORIA'S fourth daughter, Princess Louise died in 1939. Private papers have just been released, showing that although she was very wealthy, she owed 15 shillings (75p) to a tobacconist. I was reminded of Private Godfrey in Dad's Army recalling his days working in a posh store. Some of the customers were members of the aristocracy and, as he put it wearily, "you could never get the money."

A READER says his maiden aunt who lived until she was 101, put her long life down to "having nothing to do with men." One of the strangest things about longevity is that very old people rarely agree on the reasons for it. For every 100-plus survivor who praises brisk walks and abstention, there's another who recommends plenty of booze and snooze. The oldest US army veteran, Richard Overton, has passed away at the age of 112. Born the son of a liberated slave, he survived the Second World War and put his longevity down to whisky and cigars. Not what the health lobby wants to hear.

THE Europhile Tory MP Anna Soubry was barracked by some Brexiteer demonstrators outside Parliament. Someone called her a traitor. The Observer feverishly reminded its readers that this word "is the same term used by members of the far right to describe the murdered Labour MP Jo Cox." And thus, by a monstrous leap of logic, Brexit supporters are cast as potential murderers. I was hoping 2019 might bring a sense of proportion to the EU debate. Don't bank on it.

THERE is a convention in the Press that as soon as December 25 is over, you never again mention the C-word. Yet if I may revisit Xmas for a moment, it is to report that, for the 175th consecutive year the yuletide award for whingeing, whining, shameless toadying to the boss, over-breeding and utter failure to support one's family went to Mr R Cratchit of Camden Town. I cannot be the only one losing patience with Bob Cratchit who earns 15 shillings (75p) a week working for Scrooge and, as far as we know, has never asked for a rise or looked for another job and whose idea of a great career for his oldest son is as a clerk on 4/6 (22p) a week. "Scrooge" has passed into our language to describe a mean person. Is it not time to use Bob's name to denote a total wazzock? Him? He's a right Cratchit.

FRIENDS celebrated the New Year by letting out their previously housebound kittens. Delightful little creatures but even the most independent pet can become a commitment. For example, is a Siamese cat a tie?