Peter Rhodes on curious colours, the Abbott factor and the BBC's plastic goodies

MYSTERIES of our time. As the pot holes worsen and his MoT test approaches, a reader asks, why do cars have to be roadworthy but roads don't have to be car worthy?

AFTER my recent item on names of paints that convey absolutely nothing, a reader says the paint makers have much to learn from the manufacturers of fabric blinds. He has been contemplating Sand Dollar, Modesty, Mayfair, Fondant, Havana, Eton and Tiffany.

MEANWHILE, having dithered for weeks, I have finally painted my shed in County Cream which is the colour not of any cream I have ever seen but of those deep, rich ice-creams of the 1960s. How did they make them so richly, custardy yellow? More to the point, when did they remove the food dye responsible - and why?

ONE of the many conclusions you can draw from last week's inconclusive council elections is that the British people are demanding a quick exit from the EU. And the more this notion is spread, the louder come the taunts that the Leave voters did not understand what Brexit would mean because they are, well, basically thick. How strange. Back in 1975 when we voted to stay in the Common Market, I don't recall anybody suggesting this was far too complicated to be decided by thickos. Now we are told that, while slipping deeper into the European Project was dead easy, getting out again will be monumentally difficult. I don't buy it.

AS for why Labour didn't do better in the elections, I blame the Windrush scandal. In theory this cruel and long-running cock-up should have damaged the Tories. In reality, anything involving a Home Secretary automatically involves the Shadow Home Secretary, too. Which meant endless TV and radio appearances by Diane Abbott at her most unbearably preachy, pious and holier-than-thou. It may be worth researching the connection, if any, between the number of Diane Abbott appearances and the state of the Labour vote.

THERE is a strong whiff of preachiness, too, in the BBC's coverage of the global plastic scandal This is an important issue and the Beeb is in a unique position to do a fine job, having many years ago acquired sole rights to the patron saint of saving the planet, Sir David Attenborough. However, in an idle moment I had a look at the BBC Shop merchandising website where you will find polyester Paddington Bear cushions, plastic Doctor Who tumblers and poly-blend fleeces, plus hundreds of DVDs - including 13 Attenborough series - all packed in plastic boxes. Enough to choke an entire fleet of turtles.

THE Daily Telegraph reports: "Fifty crocodiles were seized by Border Force officers at Heathrow after fighting each other on a flight from Malaysia." I'm not entirely sure who was fighting whom but the Border Force seem to have won.