Shropshire Star

Raging hypocrisy. Peter Rhodes on online-bank bullies, a star on show and the end of the line for Ratty

DID you notice that on the very day an official review claimed that MI5 could have prevented the Manchester Arena bombing, MI5 announced it had foiled a plot to assassinate Theresa May. Pure coincidence or burying bad news?

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Farewell?

IT is always good, in this age of jeans and fleeces, to see some people still dressing up for the theatre. Sitting behind me at Stratford a few days ago was a handsome, long-legged vision of elegance in an immaculate light tweed suit and waistcoat, with beard neatly trimmed for the occasion, clearly delighted to be out and about and on show. Well done, Jeremy Irons.

I'VE always had a soft spot for rats. They are intelligent, adaptable and resourceful little chaps, very much like humans. So I winced at the news from Edinburgh University where researchers believe they may be able to wipe out millions of rats by tinkering with their genes (the rats' genes, that is, not the boffins' genes) either to render the rats infertile or ensure they produce only male offspring. The idea of a city infested with ordinary rats is bad enough. Imagine how it would be if all the girl rats were suddenly removed, leaving a lads' army of male rats without any females to keep them in order. Rataggedon.

NEARLY 1,000 high-street bank branches have closed this year in the continuing drive to force us into online banking. Ironic, isn't it, that while child-protection experts are doing everything they can to save kids from the wickedness of the web, those of us who prefer to keep our bank accounts entirely separate from the internet are regarded as cave-dwellers to be dragged into the future? Forcing bank customers online is the equivalent of herding sheep into a forest full of wolves. Banking bosses eagerly turn cause and effect back-to-front. First they close the local branches. Then they claim their new website is in response to "people changing the way they bank." Have you ever seen such raging hypocrisy?

AN old friend has finally died, more than two years after being diagnosed with a particularly savage "locked-in" condition. His body closed down, leaving him unable to communicate but his mind was fully aware almost to the end. This disease set out to imprison, torture and kill a good man, and to make the torture last as long as possible. The church will be packed for his funeral. I do hope that if the clergy have any views about a loving God, they keep it to themselves.

THERE are no surprises in the article in the Lancet's report pointing out that if you exercise in a busy city street, the air pollution will probably cancel out the benefits of the work-out. I stride two miles into town most mornings, fully aware that 50 yards of brisk walking is wiped out by a single lorry passing by.

RESEARCH by an insurance company reveals that people aged from 16 to 24 find the term "snowflake" to be unfair and negative. Well, of course they do. It's because they're snowflakes.