Peter Rhodes: The kids that never grew up?

I CAN'T help noticing the disparity between my salary and Claudia Winkleman's.

BUT the BBC pay packet that really surprised me was Derek Thompson's, who plays the perpetually-worried Charlie in Casualty. You'd think he would smile more.

THE real cost to the BBC of disclosing its payroll for top performers is all about credibility. From now on, any Beeb journalist, whether on national news or in the most remote local-radio station, attempting to investigate some gender-based salary or conditions scandal will be stuffed the moment the wicked employer declares: “I don't think the BBC is in any position to lecture us, thanks.”

JASPER Carrott, 72, is going under the knife for major heart surgery next month, followed by three months of recuperation and I feel sure we all wish this great national treasure well. I interviewed him 12 years ago when he was 60 and in great form as he unveiled his first Rock With Laughter event in Birmingham. I can see him now, leaning forward in his chair conspiratorially, as though he was sharing some great medical secret. “You know, Pete,” he smiled, “we're going to be the first generation that never grows old.” Time has a great way of throwing that sort of prediction back in your face. Carrott and the rest of the babyboomers have had a great time on this planet but immortality has never been part of the deal. The closest today's seventysomethings may get to Carrott's prediction is to become the first generation that never grows up. Which, it has to be said, is better than nothing.

“HE should put plenty of biddy-biddy-bums on seats.” Dominic Cavendish in the Daily Telegraph, reviewing Omid Djalili's performance in Fiddler on the Roof at Chichester.

THE Advertising Standards Authority has launched a virtuous little crusade to get rid of gender stereotypes. Yet it seems perfectly happy with the way online gambling is promoted. In ad after ad, gamblers are happy. They sing, they dance, they pop champagne corks. You never see anyone lose. You won't see an online gambler bursting into tears, smashing the one-armed bandit or throwing himself under a train. In the great scheme of stereotypes, is a husband who can't use a washing machine a worse influence than the unremitting cheerfulness associated with a gambling industry that drives thousands of working people into utter despair?

THANKS for your many suggestions, following the appointment of the first female Doctor Who, of likely ladies to play the first female Dalek. Although I say “many suggestions” there were actually lots of emails but the same few names kept appearing. A Dalek tag team of Ann Widdecombe and Diane Abbott looks favourite.

COXES in rowing boats tend to be small and light. Which explains the curious commentary from a BBC reporter as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge took their places for a boat race in Heidelberg a few days ago. It proves, too, the old broadcasting tip that you should never read any script on air that you haven't previously read out loud to yourself. The reporter described Prince William as “the most elongated cox you'll ever meet.”