Mark Andrews – belching into jars, why we're no longer a nation of shopkeepers, and why I won't be flying by private jet

Struggling to know what to get your loved ones this Christmas? It might be worth giving Curtis Gibbs a shout if you're short of ideas.

'Harry and Meghan' is the title of the Sussexes' Netflix show
'Harry and Meghan' is the title of the Sussexes' Netflix show

Curtis, 25, from Wolverhampton, quit his job in a supermarket for his 'mental health', and reckons he now makes £22,000 a month by belching into jars and selling the aroma online. Well not just that, he also sells dirty socks and used bathwater.

Despite this glittering success, he insists he never forgets where he came from.

I'm sure the whole of Wolverhampton is very proud of him.

* * *

Curtis's career choice will no doubt be music to the ears of the 227,000 18- to 24-year-olds who say they have no intention of ever doing a day's graft in their lives.

The survey, by training body City and Guilds, also found that the out-of-work youngsters who did actually want to work still had unrealistic expectations of what type of job they could expect.

For example, 15 per cent hoped to work in the arts, entertainment or recreation, despite these industries making up just two per cent of the labour market. By contrast, only two per cent want to get their hands dirty in retail or wholesale, where 14 per cent of the work lies.

Part of it is down to the proliferation of daft university courses, which has convinced everyone they can make a living as a puppet-master or circus artist because they have borrowed 50 grand for tuition fees. Not to mention the shallow, vacuous world of 'social media' where everybody now thinks they are an 'influencer'.

We keep being told we need migrants to fill the labour shortage in this country. Maybe we should get tough with the dreamers and skivers first.

* * *

"Turkey farmers in nervous wait" was a headline this week, referring to concerns about the bird flu epidemic.

Not half as nervous as the turkeys, one suspects.

* * *

So what about the Harry & Meghan video then? Well sorry to disappoint if you were expecting a no-holds-barred commentary, but I haven't seen it.

Yes, I saw the excruciatingly narcissistic trailer – "When the stakes are this high, wouldn't you want to hear the story from us?" – but there really are better ways to spend one's time than listening to a couple of privileged wellness bores whining about their cosseted lives. This hair doesn't wash itself you know.

What I will do is heed the advice of government minister Guy Opperman and refuse to subscribe to Netflix. In the same way that I will no longer fly by private jet, or attend any Birmingham City home games.

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