Mark Andrews – another euphemism for Hancock, an affront to Attila, and let Gary bear the burden

Matt Hancock, the former health secretary who quit his role for, ahem, 'breaching social-distancing rules' with his aide, says he will now 'raise awareness about dyslexia' – by eating kangaroo penis in the jungle with Boy George. Is this man capable of doing anything that doesn't involve a laughable euphemism?

Matt Hancock on I'm a Celebrity...
Matt Hancock on I'm a Celebrity...

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Mr Hancock reckons he is going 'where the people are' by taking part in the rather tired reality show. Well, he is going where 12 people are. Unfortunately, none of them actually live in his constituency.

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Imagine an ordinary working bloke suddenly taking three weeks' unauthorised absence to lark around on the other side of the world. Do you think he would have a job to come back to?

Imagine if Dr Finlay only worked 9-5

A conference of GPs will vote this month on whether to demand a 9-5 working day, saying it is 'discriminatory' for them to work longer than 'most other jobs'.

I suspect by 'most other jobs', they mean 'most public sector admin jobs'. But, on £111,000 a year, GPs earn more than 'most other jobs'. And one would like to think they went into medicine for higher motives than a short working day.

Now the phrase 'work-life balance' wasn't around when I did my journalistic training, but I do recall the wise, seasoned hack in charge telling us if such things troubled us, that we might wish to reconsider our career choice.

Because the best jobs become your life, not something that needs to be balanced.

Attila the Hun - slight?

I gave up long ago trying to keep up with the ever-growing list of people with 'protected characteristics', but I was surprised by the latest group to get the cotton-wool treatment.

National Archives has issued a warning about Winston Churchill's language in a letter to Franklin D Roosevelt, where he described the Nazis as 'Huns'.

I think if I were a descendant of Attila's mob, with a penchant for bronze cauldrons and artificial cranial deformation, I might feel affronted at being likened to Hitler and Goebbels. But it seems the slight is actually perceived to be the other way round.

Whatever next? Before you know it, #BekindtoNazis will be trending on Twitter.

Let Gary bear the burden

Meanwhile, the BBC is considering a ban on the term 'tax burden', suggesting it implies sky-high taxation is a bad thing.

I doubt it will make much difference. Taxation is one of the few areas where we are all in consensus – high taxes are brilliant, as long as somebody else pays them.

Especially if it's Gary Lineker.

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