Then again, the only Christmas advert I can recall from recent weeks involves the endless repetition of the inane slogan "You're good to go."
Which doesn't set the bar terribly high, does it?
* * *
The BBC is in hot water after spending £83,000 on tea and coffee over the past year.
Some have dismissed this as a storm in a teacup, but the real burning question is surely not about the cost, but what type of tea and coffee they drink in Auntie's ivory towers.
I have long been convinced that pretentious hot beverages are at the root of almost everything wrong with the world today. The worst ideas come always come from people who sip on skinny lattes or camomile brews.
And something tells me they aren't that big on builder's tea in Broadcasting House.
* * *
A Japanese retailer has come up with a new take on the face mask by creating hyper-realistic ones that exactly replicate a stranger’s features.
I've ordered mine already, it's a perfect copy of Hillary Clinton, which I will wear every time I'm out in public.
It won't offer any protection against the virus. But it won't half help with social distancing.
* * *
Just as it looks like a compromise may finally be reached on fish, EU negotiator Michel Barnier has now reportedly deemed Britain's plans for the electric-car battery industry to be an obstacle to a trade deal.
No great shock there, it's always been a highly charged issue. And I'm sure they're working flat out to sort it.
But of all the things to pick a fight over, this really doesn't seem a hill to die on. I know they are banning the sale of new petrol cars in 10 years' time, but let's face it, electric cars are boring. For example, Jaguar has built plenty of beautiful cars in the past, but does anybody really lust after an I-Pace hatchback?
Making electric cars desirable will be a far more effective way of persuading people to make the switch than any punitive legislation.
* * *
And my real fear about the ban on petrol cars is the impact it will have on some of the most environmentally friendly motorists of the lot – classic car owners.
Because as petrol cars become scarcer, petrol stations will also become few and far between. And given that most classics do tiny mileages. their impact on the planet is negligible.
But if we have to start driving 30 miles every time we need to fill up, that is not going to be good for the planet at all. Particularly if like me, you have one that does 10mpg.
Of course, we won't get much sympathy from the hair-shirt brigade. But think how good it would be for the polar bears if everybody made their cars last 50 years.