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Andy Richardson: 'She’s so Priti, oh so Priti, Vacant'

By Andy Richardson | Opinions | Published:

A lack of taste and smell has been added to the list of Covid-19 symptoms.

Priti Patel

Anosmia is a reliable indicator of infection. Which begs the question: does Home Secretary Priti Patel have the disease? She smells no political danger and her pronouncements during Covid-19 are tasteless.

While the people formerly described by the Government as ‘low-skilled’ are manning the frontline against Covid-19, the Home Sec has turned her attention to immigration. Releasing a graphic with a Union Flag, Priti declared that ending free movement would open Britain.

Is it irony, a double negative or just bad logic that says closing borders means they’re more open? Either way, Priti demonstrated her usual lack of judgement. Lest we forget, our NHS is filled with immigrants who would no longer be allowed into the UK under Priti’s rules.

As our soft fruit industry and care homes also suffer a shortage of workers, it’s unclear who’s going to do the jobs that Brits won’t do. Little wonder Prince Charles has called for a new land army. Priti’s policy, meanwhile, is to ban a category that in earlier times might have included her Ugandan parents. She has pulled up the drawbridge on a group that would have included herself.

It’s not as though Priti doesn’t have enough controversy on her plate, given the reverberations of Windrush.

A long-serving British Army veteran who completed tours of Afghanistan and Iraq during 10-years’ service has also been told to pay a £27,000 hospital bill after an emergency operation. His crime? Being born in Fiji. He has lived continuously in the UK since his discharge from the Army but his bill increases by £1,500 per day as he receives inpatient care. Charities say hundreds of Army veterans are in the same boat.

It’s unclear who writes Priti’s political speeches, though suggestions it’s Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten are untrue. “She’s so Priti, oh so Priti, Vacant.”

Donald ‘Duck’ Trump has taken medical matters into his own hands by taking an anti-malarial drug to ward off Covid-19. The President has not, thankfully, combined it with a disinfectant chaser.

Back home, a committee of MPs has decided that the Government’s ability to test people has been inadequate. Tomorrow, they’ll be telling us that night follows day, that the sky is blue and that chips taste really good with salt and vinegar.

Andy Richardson

By Andy Richardson
Feature Writer - @andyrichardson1

Feature writer and food critic Andy Richardson interviews celebrities, writes columns and hangs out with chefs for stories that appear across all group titles.

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